So, why am I here… not, “why am I as a person on this planet,” but why am I on this website creating a journal?
If you think something or experience something and you do not tell anyone about it, does it really exist? Do experiences require being shared to make them real?
I believe this (to a certain extent)....
Can you feel something and not admit it to anyone? Sure. But if you do not admit it, it is that much easier to pretend it is not real, and deny it later. Or forget about it like it never happened.
I am at a stage in my life where everyone is busy, and I have so many thoughts in my head. As a teenager, we would spend hours on the phone every day, and then additionally we would write each other notes or letters. Now… now it seems to be a couple sentences on Facebook.
I hate sharing personal things on Facebook. I hate to think that to share with people in my life that I need to go as public as sharing to people I haven’t talked to (really) since high school. And then if it is something sad or serious, you get pity… for 5 minutes. Then everyone goes back to their lives, and you feel just as empty as before.
So, I am here. I am here to document my thoughts as if I am sharing with a best friend in the same way we’d talk about everything on the phone during our less mature years. I am here thinking maybe someone might read this, but it is ok if no one does. I am here to be visible in my own way, rather than being part of a cog in a wheel of social media invisibility. And I am here to say whatever I feel, rather than feeling like i need to edit my output for an audience.
And I am here to document and make my life real. I have spent the past 6 months (about) struggling with hip pain, followed by a hip surgery. I don’t go out very often (and I’d say it was because of my hip, but before that I wasn’t going out too often either). Between life’s circumstances and being single, admittedly I’m lonely. I do have friends, but everyone has an active life. This will be my new way to get involved in my life and hopefully enhance my world.
Time to make my thoughts real....
Loading comments...