1.) Your asthmatic vampire character will be called Vlad The Inhaler.
2.) Prithee but know thou my name as Paul and henceforth know your troubles as betwixt y’all.
3.) Never trust a man with the nickname Girthworm.
4.) Any love poem, no matter how deep or how sad, becomes funny if you imagine it being delivered to a pillow in the shape of an anime babe.
5.) Statistically speaking, there is probably a couple named Benny and Hannah whose first date was at a Benihana.
6.) Hipster foodies sellin’ ramps off the on-ramp.
7.) What if time travel’s real but so difficult to sync up w/ Earth’s orbit that they all materialize either in deep space or inside the planet?
8.) I wonder if Botox ever considered having a cartoon mascot that was just an ox in a tugboat. The horn could blow “BOOOOH! TOOOOX!”
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