may 28 in idea barrages

1.) We became a client state of a Russian dictatorship not by war but by their turning our own crony capitalism against us. Fitting & awful.

2.) No one believed the orc had actually stabbed himself, the wounds were clearly elf-inflicted.

3.) It’s always a clue that it’s actually a dream when I find a cache of Little Falls Mets memorabilia at a garage sale or thrift shop.

4.) You are not an influencer, you are not a brand, you are not an authority, you are not a tastemaker. You are a human being and so are we all.

5.) FIERI FACT: Guy Fieri can Bedazzle your jean jacket just by running his finger down the back. The fake gems magically appear.

6.) Don’t let anyone sabotage your happiness. That is YOUR job! YOU can sabotage your OWN happiness!

7.) Has there been a mash-up of TAKEN and SUPER MARIO BROTHERS yet, with Mario calling Koopa with a series of plain-spoken threats?

8.) We pretended we hadn’t failed, merely avoided success in youth so it wouldn’t ruin us. No Young Elvis shame, they’ll only know us fat & old.

9.) After we’re old & dead & gone, don’t mourn my generation. We’ll have pre-mourned ourselves decades already in our socialmedia selfobsession.

10.) Your scars, blemishes, stretchmarks, they aren’t flaws. They are markers of your reality. Your beauty is actual not constructed.

11.) FIERI FACTS: One of his restaurants ran out of Donkey Sauce so he waved his hand over a box of ketchup packets and they became Donkey Sauce.

12.) No one in the post-apocalyptic future would consider it the post-apocalypse. We’re all conditioned to see the now as the forever normal.

13.) We’re all permanently affected now. All we can hope is that we accumulate so many affectations that the needle spins and we are again real.

14.) It’s not even so much that I’ve fumbled so many amazing chances, it’s more I’m now in a place where it’s hard to find new ones.

15.) American democracy being torn down before my eyes has weirdly taken the edge off watching the Mets implode on a nightly basis! Perspective?