5/23 in --

So… I don’t have a job this summer.

I couldn’t sleep last night because my anxiety levels were through the roof and I think I’ve blown a couple of opportunities. For instance, I met with someone in the School of Education about a possible unpaid internship opportunity that one of my professors set me up with… and I was 15 minutes late because I wrote the wrong time in my planner, and I think I gave her a bad impression. I never heard back from her. I’m not sure what I did wrong for the GRA position. Maybe they already had someone in mind but they had to interview several people for the formality. I don’t know.
I’m going to try not to think too much about it anymore.

My plan was to look at jobs and apply to a few. I’ve done this before and it got me nowhere, but it’s worth a shot, I guess, especially since I have all summer.

I’m not too upset about not working over the summer… a positive is that I get to spend more time with my kids, and it’ll be easier to do the two classes I’m doing over the summer without a job (graduate summer classes sound intense – we’ll see). It also gives me time to relax about trying to get pregnant. If I do get pregnant, I’ll surely be pretty damn sick so it’ll be nice to just have a break.

I do feel like I’m letting my partner down without having a job, but he doesn’t seem too bothered by it. He knows I’m bothered by it which is why he was upset for me. It wasn’t really about the money. I barely make anything so whatever I contribute is nice but not necessary.

On the TTC front, my temperatures are starting out lower than they did last month, which is interesting. Perhaps I’ll get a better temperature shift in my luteal phase this month. I’m on CD 9 today. My period just ended.