I don’t know how to do this. I don’t want to be a single mum! I don’t want to miss out on my daughter 50% of her life! Up until now I have been the most involved in every single aspect of her life , stepped up to be 1.5 parents since she was born whilst her father contributed to the equivalent of half of a parent … and all of a sudden I have to step back and give up half of my time with her and be absolutely fine with it.
I am absolutely not okay with it!
It’s not that he isn’t a good father. I don’t mean to paint such a bad picture of him, but our daughter was never the best sleeper and he never got up in the night with her. Even when I was working full time just like he was, on opposite shifts to him, and I was getting up at 5am he wouldn’t get up with her. He won’t just take her out or go and do something with her, he sticks the music channels on all day or he lets her watch YouTube videos for hours. He doesn’t buy her nappies or clothes, or make sure she eats plenty of fruit or vegetables or brushes her teeth … I do all that.
I am the parent that takes her to groups, or to the park, softplay, swimming, anywhere I can think of to make sure she is getting out of the house. I never switch off… I always thinking ahead about whether she’s eating healthily enough, has she learned something today, where will I take her tomorrow, do I need to put a washing load on … when was the last time I checked the gas meter … She hasn’t pooed all day .. is she constipated … The list goes on…
My daughters father works shift work, either from roughly 5.30am -3 or 2-11 … and has now decided he is going to have our daughter for the half a day he’s not at work everyday. Then she’s stays over on his days off, (he’s back living with his mum again now.) We’re not in a relationship anymore yet somehow my life and my time with my daughter still revolves around him.
When she’s not here I feel like my life stops. All I know how to do is be her mummy… It’s heartbreaking to now be not needed for 50% of the time. I was always the one she wanted before … She knew I was always there… she may as well have been sewn to me. I don’t want to be a 50/50 mum !
Loading comments...