Closer in Book Four: Ichi-no-Tani 2017

March 25, 2017, 8:32 p.m.
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174 entries to catch up on.

I am fairly confident we’ll be okay. Wife’s sewing room, kitchen, bedroom… only rooms that still have a significant amount of things in them. I am excited to get up (down) to the new place and get things rolling.

My mind has been working again in weird ways. Like… just… randomly firing but hitting on things.

Honestly… and no idea how/if this would even be possible… but… I really hope that, in the next 9 months, I can find a psycho-therapist for talk therapy. My regrets about how my life turned out post my abusive relationship is… growing again.
My mom, who was here Thur/Fri helping us clean (which I still feel awful about… my wife sewing, me moving boxes, my mom cleaning bathrooms… but Mom encouraged Wife to sew since the deadline of sewing project is April 1, but.... meh).
My mom mentioned how in a lot of ways I’ve always been slow. Not mentally but socially. Like… I was able to read and discuss mental things but I was unable to understand “juvenile humor” until I was in my mid teens. Example: I had no idea why people laughed at the number 69 until I was 15.
Apparently, all of that was made worse by my abusive relationship. I’ve… always been bad… behind… on social situations when it comes to dating. So… yeah. I still have a lot of regrets and the like from my dating days. They’re swimming around my head a lot. It can’t be a good thing.

Tempestuous1 ⋅ March 25, 2017

(((Hugs))) Therapy I have found, is always a good thing...well unless the therapist is bad.

Rhapsody in Purple ⋅ March 26, 2017

I don't think we are meant to understand why people laugh at 69 until we are in our teens. or maybe i'm a bit behind too. I don't think i understood the number until 18

Always Laughing ⋅ March 26, 2017

I didn't know what 69 was until at least my early teens if not late teens. I lived in a conservative house though that abstinence till marriage was taught and no foul language etc. I hope you can find a therapist that will help you work through your thoughts and what has happened to you and work out where you want to be in life.

Deleted user ⋅ March 27, 2017

I don't even know how old I was when I learned about the concept of "69". Hell there are adults who find it funny for some reason and I'm always puzzled by it lol. I have a good sense of humor but my god we're not in middle school anymore lol