march opener in idea barrages

1.) Everybody’s always talking about independent contractors but codependent contractors are always willing to help.

2.) Quicken Loans was named after someone trying not to cure about frickin’ loans.

3.) There is, I swear to God, a folding multi-tool called a “Leatherman Squirt”. Someone needs to pay me just to run names by first.

4.) “Survival of the fittest” is not a measure of a static skillset. It’s about surviving that which is at hand. The “fit” shifts like the sand.

5.) Is there a Transformer that turns into an air conditioner of some kind? We could have fan-fan-fiction.

6.) Your super-villain whose illusion powers are fed by sugar intake will be called “Hypnoglycemia”.

7.) I screamed at the television until I scared my brother’s dog and we shut it off. I feel so helpless I could die. We shut it off like ten minutes ago and I am still shaking with grief and rage. I hate being unwillingly complicit with all this savage abuse of the oppressed and already suffering. I feel so helpless.

8.) The business of this country isn’t business. The business of this country is the people. So sick of pretending big business = America.