It was bound to happen, it’s come as by surprise, but I totally underestimated how it would make me feel.
One of my work besties is pregnant. She went for her 12 week scan yesterday and found out she’s having twins. Of course I’m absolutely thrilled for her, genuinely excited and happy for her and her boyf.
But there was a part of me that couldn’t help but think, how lucky that you have two for the price of one without having to go through any heartache to make it happen. And that was sad that it isn’t me. Especially after being so late last month.
It’s such a weird feeling, being so happy but so envious at the same time. She’s so so excited, and I’m excited for her, and it’s all we’ve talked about today. It’s been exhausting, putting on the brave face while a million thoughts swirled around my mind, wondering when or even if it’ll be my turn.
It’s terrifying, I’ve heard of so many people lately who’ve had ivf and it hasn’t worked. The thought of going through all of that and ending up with no babies, I don’t even know how to start processing that, although I know that it’s something I’ll have to think about.
I don’t even know what to think today.
Xx
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