New Guy... in Fresh Start...

I have continued to see JM. He’s a nice guy. We get along well. We enjoy each other’s company. He is super into kissing and making out which is nice. However, sex has still not really happened in my opinion. We’ve tried, but he still can’t get hard enough and stay hard enough for sex. There’s been minimal penetration, but that’s it and it doesn’t last long. I have only managed to get him off 1 time. That’s it. Via blowjob and even that took a solid 20 minutes and he was shocked. Overall, the sex part is highly disappointing and I’m ridiculously frustrated but still trying to be nice.

He cooked dinner for me one night and it was delicious. We went and saw Dr. Strange together. We have gone for coffee and grocery shopped together a few times.

Thanksgiving was a disaster. I went to my parents house. I wasn’t even there an hour. It was my parents, my sister, her hubby, me, my ex hubby, his dad, and his friend BA. BA works with my ex hubby and my sister. She moved here from NY and lives with my ex hubby’s dad. She’s only 20 and they’ve been helping her study for the GED and recently she finally got her drivers license. So anyways, K and I had already bought tickets to a beer event in December and I remembered that it’s the same day as BA’s 21st birthday. So I invited her and told her I’d get her ticket for her birthday. My sister immediately starts protesting that BA can’t have that night off. I’m like seriously, it’s over 2 weeks away, it doesn’t start til 7pm, so she would just need to be off by 6, and if all else fails you can let her open and you close that one night, plus it’s a Thursday. She keeps saying no and I finally get to the point where I’m like it’s her 21st birthday and if she wants to take the night off she should be able to and if you can’t work 1 closing shift then you’re just being a selfish bitch. She flies off the handle, gets up, storms out, slams the door, knocks something off the wall, I hear glass breaking, and she makes her hubby drive her the 2 blocks home. He comes back. Then my mom and dad start accusing me of making a scene and somehow her selfish behavior is all my fault. So I finish cooking the green beans I was working on and excuse myself and head home.

Originally I was supposed to meet JM on that side of town later and go to one of his friends’ houses to meet some of them. Instead I texted him and let him know plans had changed and I was going home. So he agreed to just come pick me up. In the down time I had I started cleaning the house because I clean when I’m angry.

He picked me up. Asked about what happened at my parents and was really nice. We went to his friend’s house. I brought a cheeseball that I made. I had to meet like 8 people. 3 couples, one random dude, and a gay guy who’s bf was visiting family out of town. I did good to remember everyone’s name. They’re all big into tabletop gaming. I ended up playing a game called Avalon. It’s not super complicated but I’m new to that stuff and I think they just assumed that I wouldn’t get it.

We had 10 people playing, so 6 are good and 4 are evil. All the evil people know who the other evil people are. The evil people consist of Mordred, Morgana, an Assassin, and a minion in this particular game. Then on the good side there is Merlin, Percival, and 4 good Knights or something. Merlin knows who all the evil people are with the exception of Mordred. Percival knows who Merlin and Morgana are but not which is which. And Merlin does not want to directly reveal that he/she knows who all the evil people are because if the Assassin knows who Merlin is then the evil side wins. Basically you have to complete best 3/5 quests. A person starts, for the first quest they need 3 people. They pick 3 people and then everyone gets to vote yay or nay on that group going on the quest. If the majority doesn’t vote yay, then it’s rejected and the next person in the circle picks 3 people. For each quest you can only have 5 rejects, if you get there, the next group picked automatically goes on the quest. So once 3 people were yayed, they go on said quest. Each person on the quest is handed 2 cards, one for success and one for failure. If you’re good, then you have to play the success card, if you’re evil, then you can play either. Just so happened that one of the first 3 picked was evil, so the quest failed and evil won that round. For the 2nd quest, we needed 4 people. Once it was yayed, I was one of the 4 people and I played a success card so that the quest would succeed and everyone would think I was good. Same number of people for the 3rd quest, so the next person picked the same 4 people assuming the quest would succeed again. This time I played a failure card. Everyone was confused. JM was entirely convinced that I was good, so he’s convinced that one of the other 2 guys are lying. On the 4th quest you need 5 people, but it also requires 2 failure cards to fail. After one or 2 rejects, I realized that was not going to happen so I go on voting so that everyone would still think I was good. So the good guys won quest 4. For quest 5, you also need 5 people. It was rejected a few times and only had 2 possible rejects left when it was JM’s turn to select. After lots of discussion, he chose me as part of the group and it was approved… so then I played a failure card and won that bitch.

It was funny because several of his friends were really shocked that I was evil. One of the guys had even commented early on that since it was my first time playing I couldn’t possibly be playing the long game. JM was completely shocked and impressed and probably aroused all at the same time.

We played Say Anything after that and it probably would have gone better if I knew anything about these people. I’m sure they thought my answers were nuts…

What is an ideal romantic evening?
-Fireball and ?

What is the worst gift to accept from a stranger?
-A baby… wait no, answer stolen, gotta change it, ok.... Herpes!

What song should play when I enter a room? (Shy girl asks this…)
-She Bangs

What am I thinking of right now? (Asked by a guy)
-Boobs

What is the best kind of pie?
-Mrs. Lovett’s

That’s just a few of my answers…

So we leave later and stop by Target on our way back to my house. Mainly because I like to buy a bunch of $2 towels to donate to a puppy rescue group. But also bought DVDs. Get home, feed everyone, climb into bed, fool around for a bit. By then it’s late, I’m exhausted. He says goodnight sweetie… I catch myself midway into saying “Love you night night.” I explain that this was just a conditioned response and I didn’t want him to be weirded out by it. I think that’s settled.

Next morning pigs wake up at 6:30. I put them out and feed them and take dogs out and go climb back into bed. I really want more sleep… 4 hours doesn’t cut it. JM is kinda awake and refuses to just be still and go back to sleep. Starts trying to cuddle and kiss and be sweet… Then… I love you and I really mean it.

It’s been 6 weeks… exactly, since we met. And while I do care about you and would probably even say I love you, there are different kinds of love. Ok, so I love you, but I’m not like head over heels in love with you. You have like friend with a side of romantic interest love right now. I say it back because it would suck more to just entirely crush him. I already knew he was head over heels for me, I didn’t need him to say it. So then the rest of the morning he kept saying it. It’s fine, but I hope he slows down a bit.

He just doesn’t have enough relationship experience. He’s never really had what he would call a girlfriend. He’s never lived with someone. He’s stayed the night with me at my house more than he’s stayed the night with anyone else, and we’re seriously talking like 4 nights max. He’s never introduced a girl to his friends before. It’s just really odd.

Anyways, I did a bit of Black Friday shopping and that finished most of my Christmas shopping.

Then last night at a little after 9 pm my aunt died. It wasn’t unexpected and she’s better off now. My mother was with her. However, my mother was upset and didn’t text anyone, so I found out on Facebook because my idiot cousins have recently been posting statuses regarding my aunt to garner prayers and sympathy like they actually saw her on a regular basis. My mother was the one taking her grocery shopping every week and filling her prescriptions and making all the phone calls etc. It kinda sucked to find out that way.

I talked to my mom today. I could barely understand her sometimes. I cried because she was crying. My aunt was really the last family member she had that she liked at all. She has one older brother left, but he’s a douchebag. I’m laying in bed putting off doing anything.

Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!

Last updated December 10, 2016