I wish this could be easy in OCD George

After George called the other night, I was feeling strong again. It was such a good feeling. But then I came across something on fb and I texted him telling to accept my friend request again so I can send him something. I sent him 2 things but the one I wanted to send wouldn't go through. Oh well. So, either way, aside from that, I haven't talked to him. I have been really fine with that. But then today, I started missing him again. This really sucks. I really don't know why I miss him. I am very happy with Lou. Lou is a great guy and we talk throughout the day every day. Maybe it's because it's all still new with him or maybe it's because we don't get to see each other very often. We did make plans tonight to meet Thursday am. But... Idk... maybe I'm just bored or lonely or something. I really don't know what is so great about George.
Physically speaking, he really isn't my type at all. Not that I really even have a type. I don't. But we were friends for 2 years before we started fooling around. Now I feel like there is so precious little there. I want to text him to talk but I can't stand the rejection from him. If he doesn't respond then I get all awkward thinking he's probably fucking her. If he's out with friends then I feel like a looser when I'm home every weekend. Sometimes I hate that. Here I am... without the kids, and I'm still home alone on a Friday pm. No friends, no date... . Not to mention, I really do just want to get over him. I think I actually am over him for the most part. But like I mentioned before, I waiver. I just wish this didn't happen so much. I have to fight myself to not call him. I don't get it.This is what sucks. I wish I had another friend I could talk to right now to keep my mind off of this. But since it is 10 pm, I don't dare call anyone this late. Which is why I am here complaining about it. Maybe I can find something online to distract me.