worthless in MyDarknessLives

So I decided that the only real thing I can offer the world and do good for any community would be to donate blood, being o- it’s perfect cause it’s the universal donor blood type, so I make an appointment for today, unfortunately my mother had to go to the hospital today but I still managed to get there for my appointment and I know I said I was a big guy, I really am a huge man and there is nothing I can do about it. The lady asks my weight and stuff and says I am too big for the bed-chairs they use and it’s absolutely bullshit I wasn’t that much over the limit. I cannot believe this woman turned me down because of that and WHEN THEY ARE IN A DESPERATE NEED of BLOOD. So my mom being in the hospital with that really sent me into a breakdown on the way home I started crying and at some points I was screaming as well so full of rage and sorrow because that was the only thing I can actually do for the world that would help somebody and to have that taken away from me like it did really made me feel like a useless piece of crap. So for a good hour or two I was just switching between screaming, crying, and writing “Stupid bitch” all over the denial paper. I feel a little better now but I am absolutely worthless. I cannot do anything to benefit society and I cannot do anything to help people I JUST DON’T HAVE A REASON TO EXIST, WHY DO I EXIST? WHY WHY WHY DO I EXIST? I just take up resources and space I DON’T HAVE A PURPOSE! I have also been thinking that my soul will go to hell because I cannot even help one fucking person. I’m just a useless piece of garbage, I am a mistake that never should have existed in the first place.