I’m struggling with the whole lack of control in this baby making situation. If I could take joey’s sperm out of his body and look after it properly I’d be like a billion times happier.
The drinking continues to be an issue on and off. It’s nothing like as bad as the week of the laying down the law, but if I had my way, he’d drink less, and less often. Still, you have to pick your battles and there has been an improvement.
My second issue is these lycopene tablets he said he’d take. There’s been a massive study done by Cambridge University that has tested the effect of high doses of lycopene on sperm count and found it has a positive effect in increasing sperm count. We discussed it, he said he’d try them, I ordered them, he’s taken 10 in the last 30 days, instead of one a day. The second month supply arrived today, and he’s barely bothered with last month.
I cancelled the subscription tonight. It’s a complete waste of my money if he’s not even going to take them, and frankly, knowing that it takes 3 months to produce sperm, I’ve been thinking that by August, if there’s been an improvement, it might help us to get pregnant without intervention.
I just feel frustrated that he’ll openly tell me he wants a baby, and fully expects that I’d have no problem with doing ivf if it came to it, but he won’t make some small changes that could be the different between us having to go through such invasion and not.
He still maintains that he would do ‘anything’ to be a dad, yet his actions are showing that he won’t. I’m half tempted to make an appointment to get the implant put back in. I just feel like it’s bad enough on the days be can’t be bothered to make an effort for me, and I’m the one who’s disappointed. I’d be devastated if this was a behaviour that was inflicted upon a child who wouldn’t understand why dad didn’t love them properly.
Xx
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