As I delve deeper into her thoughts, the more intrigued I become. I almost know how she feels. It's hard sometimes, trying to get past her defense mechanisms. All the cussing and anger...I laugh at it. I know what she really uses it for. But, I'm coming around to find myself in a better place than I have been in years. It feels great to finally be happy. Something I haven't felt in too long.
I lie awake at night, wondering if I'll get a new message from her at random. When I dream, she is with me. We get to talk some days. The days I will always cherish. Although our conversations are filled with the most random of topics and sometimes, downright dirty. I guide them because I secretly love it when she gets a bit upset (in a cute way).
She asked me if I would ever move to another state. I knew what she was looking for. Of course I would. I've never felt attached to my hometown anyways, And I do love travelling. And I get to be closer to a special someone? My answer would always be yes. But, it's down there road and just a hypothetical right now. but these things are really good to know, right?
When we leave our phone call, I stare at the phone for a minute. Not really sure what I'm hoping for...I feel like I'm in the clouds after each one. The feeling is indescribable. But, whatever it is, I'm addicted to it.
The topic came up about us having a visit. Do I really think we could be around each other and be "just friends"? I had to explain it to her and I think (hope) she understood what it meant. But, before we could talk any further, she had to leave. I also think she was uncomfortable. I wish she would learn that I would never judge her and want her to be nothing but honest with me. It's all I ask.
I wrote this for her. I could have written a sonnet, but she knows why I didn't.
I know she loves me and I love her. Goodnight world! It's finally looking up because I refuse to look back.
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