14rd in Hey, buddy, got a light?

And he says to me-, he says, he goes “Jedi, everyone at my drug class says I should stop hanging out with you. That you’re just bringing me down.”
That’s a funny thing for complete strangers to say about me! I thought.
I looked up from whatever I was watching and I laughed, “Hahaha, that’s funny, Bill.”
I told him, if we do grow apart, if he does have to cut me loose, it’s fine.
You’ve got a son, and bills to pay, you’re trying to have a life, and theres no place for me in it. Unless I..I dunno, magically turn into some kind of functional human being.
Gross, right? I’ll always remember the good times.
I could see it made him a little sad. “This is all you want for yourself?”
YEP! “Why?”
What do you mean WHY, you big goof? Shit, I HATE myself XD, I’m going to kill myself someday and golly if I ain’t looking forward to it.
He wants to believe I’m joking, poor bastard.
His upstairs neighbor, Steve, is a real stand up guy, a fuckin trooper through and through. He’s moving out shortly. They go ball and hit the gym from time to time. “You don’t do shit, and with Steve moving..man, I’m gonna be hella bored.”
WELL GEE WILLIKERS, I GUESS BEING A GROWN MAN CAN SUCK SOMETIMES, HUH BILL?
..Ofcourse I didn’t say that, I thought it.
I said “Anything you want to do, within the realm of common sense and affordability, I’ll be there. Except play basketball.”
Don’t look at me like that, I am NOT a very athletic active person. Just because I’m skinny doesn’t mean I’m a physically active person. Aside from a shitload of walking, and 2 or 3 days a week of manual labor, I’m mostly always glued down to something.
Steve’s a cool guy though, even I wish he wasn’t moving. He let me roll in his apartment, something Jarrod (William/Bill) won’t let me do anymore. “EHHHHH I DON’T WANT MY BATHROOM SMELLING LIKE WEED”
There I was, walking by the park, having that conversation. It was like people knew.
Probably because I kept making eye contact with them and talking loudly into my phone. Hahah.
The past few fridays I’ve usually been dragged to the park with them to watch them ball. That little patch of hell, right there on church grounds, is the end all and be all for local bums. I don’t like rolling there, or in public, really. If it’s not bums it’s those gotdang kids.
I must look a certain way. Some people feel the need to go out of their way to aknowledge me. You’d think my disinterested stare would get the message across.
Some black guy was about to pass on my walk back from the pharmacy.
I put the face on, and he put his on, SHEEIT I AIN’T GOIN OUT LIKE NO PUNK BI-
And he politely asked for a cigarette. I gave him two and turned down his offer to buy them off me. Race is never an issue, hell, he could’ve been a fucking one horned one eyed flying purple people eater and I would’ve given him a cancer stick.
It’s what I’d want someone else to do.
Back at the park, some stupid person didn’t read my face memo and he started to make smalltalk-, can I call it bullshit? Men don’t make smalltalk, we bullshit.
He started to BS with me over my hat, cigarettes and some other shit I wasn’t paying attention to. I wasn’t the loser there, he was. Haha, what kind of retard shows up to this busted ass park, says hi to it’s busted ass resident bums and tries to talk to some other busted ass park goer?
He left. Something about vapor cigarettes. I noticed Steve and Bill watching us interact from their game. Ofcourse after he left and they both came over, I heard the predictable from Bill: “Damn Jedi, you looked scared.” Ofcourse I did, Bill, thanks.
Steve: “I thought he was going to try some shit there for a second, man.”
I laughed and got halfway through saying I would’ve been fine.
Steve: “-Cause I wish he would’ve tried to fuck with a homie in front of me like that.”
Well, it’s the thought that counts.
Anyway, he’s gone, soon to be out of the picture. Not dead, gosh, just living somewhere else. Thanks for letting me roll at your house and drink your beers, Steve.
Jarrod and I one another probably 2, 3 times a week and we usually just bullshit and chainsmoke. I told him he needs an outlet, he’s got too much stress. John told him that, too. I’d never try to sabotage him though, I told him that plenty of times. I know there are times when he wants to take a toke, but won’t.
I met him at John’s friday, that was fun. The house is a dump, but fuck the atmosphere, I enjoy the company. He looked at me breaking it up and he couldn’t look away. He could stop himself from getting up and being physically closer to it, but he couldn’t look away. “You need an outlet. Download more games, have a drink once in a while, fuck start collecting shit, but do SOMETHING.”
Say’s he doesn’t trust himself to be drunk or high. I don’t believe it. Some horseshit about it’d put him in some kind of ‘I NEED DOPE’ mentality and he’d be back on meth & hookers. Whatever, I guess since he’s my last friend, I should be some kind of supportive.