51 in idea barrages

1.) One day she woke up and realized she’d aged out of dick picks and aged into mammograms.

2.) A hockey themed rap act called Sudden Def.

3.) pull out the sriracha, gonna cook with high heat, hey now, you’re a wok star, gotta cook your own meat…

4.) A parody of “Manic Depression” about passive-aggression?

5.) “Fleek” wasn’t even a thing long enough for me to write “What’s The Fleekquency, Kenneth?” Might as well be “Mr. T Ate My Balls”

6.) Other than The Streak, my Mets have been pretty bad. Thank God I am immune to getting my hopes up. Thanks years in Los Angeles!

7.) These would be hard days to be a regicidal maniac. There just aren’t as many royals as there used to be.

8.) If you name your daughter Diana Jones, you’re cursing her to a lifetime of “In Diana Jones” jokes.