Improving the Prequels. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

  • March 23, 2015, 5:06 p.m.
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  • Public

I couldn’t sleep last night, so I got to thinking about how the prequels could have been improved. I forget what I was watching, but there was a comment that the clones didn’t need to be the seeds of the imperial army. The “Clone Wars” were canon from Episode IV, but nothing else is specified. It was suggested that, perhaps, the “clones” were murderous monsters that sought to destroy the Republic. I respect the droids for what they were, but they were NOT a particularly effective enemy. I can only assume they were non-humanoid so our Jedi Heroes could destroy them without a guilty conscious. (And, on a personal level, they’re cute as hell.)

Episode I:

There is some kind of terrorist attack/explosion. Most advise action against “the terrorists.” While Senator Palpatine advises peace, he smiles out of view when the warmongers succeed in demanding action.
Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to some planet (NOT TATOOINE), where they are saved unwittingly by a young boy who apparently yields the force. (Anakin)
Some of Anakin’s initial Jedi training is shown. Because, why the hell wouldn’t they train someone force-sensitive?
Anakin is shown to be afraid upon seeing masses of clones. Long sequence where Qui-Gon Jinn tells Anakin that the Jedi will teach him not to be afraid.
During a confrontation, Darth Maul kills Qui-Gon Jinn in front of Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan escapes, and expresses sadness in the process, quietly vowing revenge.
While still protraying a peaceful attitude, Palpatine is reluctantly promoted to Chancellor.

Episode II:

Anakin is introduced to his new padawan, perhaps someone like Ahsoka Tano.
While outnumbered on some planet, Anakin reassures Ahsoka that fear is okay, and that she must be mindful of her feelings. (They survive, naturally.)
Clones (and Maul) invade a planet where a romantic interest or the family of Obi-Wan’s is. Anakin becomes enamored with a girl from the planet.
When Anakin is outnumbered (perhaps with Obi-Wan and Ahsoka with him), he is shown to be afraid, and uses Force Fire to burn (and defeat) all of the clones around him.
Sequence where Obi-Wan tries to help Anakin control his fear, anger, and hate; it’s implied Obi-Wan struggles with it as well.
Palpatine confides that he could help Anakin control his “dark side”.
Ahsoka expresses doubts about the Jedi to Anakin; exposition occurs.

Episode III:

Padmé tries to tell Anakin something, but he goes off on an angry tangent.
Maul kills someone close to Obi-Wan. Kenobi uses the phrase “resolve the situation” rather than revenge, despite how hurt he is.
Anakin is again outnumbered (or is facing Darth Maul), but can not control his dark side, and ends up burning himself severely. Upon escape, he becomes closer to the Darth Vader we know.
Palpatine offers to train Anakin to control his fear (ie: control the dark side). A training sequence ensues.
To prove his power and his loyalty, Darth Vader is instructed to kill Darth Maul, his padawan, and his Master.
Maul falls to Obi-Wan (and Anakin); Obi-Wan is shown expressing anger in the process. Anakin promptly turns on his Master and padawan. Ahsoka is killed, but Obi-Wan somehow escapes.
Padmé confides in Obi-Wan that she is pregnant.


The key difference being that Anakin’s fall to the dark side is based around fear, rather than anger. Done right, he becomes a tragic character, rather than a giant whiny baby. As well, having a reoccurring villain (Like Darth Maul or whoever) that Kenobi has a vendetta against, adds character to him. Having him struggle with the dark side, but ultimately never succumb proves he’s still the good character we know. As well, having Anakin/Vader have to kill his own padawan would be HEARTBREAKING. Sorry, seeing Anakin kill a bunch of nameless younglings just proves he’s psycho. If he had to kill someone close to him, and succeed, and MAYBE EVEN SHOW A LITTLE REGRET, would humanize him.

That is, it’s been said a billion times, but the way Canon Anakin force-chokes Padmé, when the VERY REASON HE FELL TO THE DARK SIDE WAS TO SAVE HER, well, IT MAKES NO SENSE.


Fawkes Gal March 26, 2015

I saw each of the prequels once, and never watched them again after that. I think I just remember thinking, "Why did they feel they needed to do this?" With each one.

And the ending, with the overly dramatic, "Nooooooo!" from Vader. Lord, that was bad.

Timmy™ Fawkes Gal ⋅ March 26, 2015

"In your anger, you killed her."

Vader went from being pretty menacing to a gullible weenie. It shows less the Emperor's ability to persuade and manipulate, and more Anakin's ability to be a dumbass.

Something I didn't expound on was the fact that everybody was a Very Important Person. Who was Han? Just a guy. Who was Chewie? Just a wookie. R2 was just a droid, and 3CPO was also just a droid. Who was Lando? Just a guy.

Padmé had to be a queen. Jar Jar HAD to become involved in politics in the 2nd and 3rd movies. Obi-Wan HAD to be one of the senior jedi, rather than one of many. Jango Fett HAD to be the seed of all the clones. Anakin HAD to be the chosen one, rather than some small farmboy like Luke was. The only people who weren't really important were the goddamned villians, Darth Maul, Dooku, and general grievous. Every movie we had some new opponent with NO explanation. The original trilogy started with some dark character, and slowly built him up.

These kinds of grand stories are far more relatable when it's about small people caught up in big events, rather than big people who can't see past themselves.

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