Under Pressure 2 in meh...

In addition to self inflicted stress about school, I also find that I’m isolated a bit. I’ve already noted the feelings of isolation, but they’ve been more prevelent especially when I get bored. That’s another thing. I am bored to tears with my life as it stands. The only thing I have to look forward to IS going to school. I thought about adding a class so I could have other things going on through the week, but I don’t want to set myself up. Take it slow. I’m new to this thing.

I did have a good friend outing week last week though. Tuesday I went to a movie with friends. The next night I went to dinner with a friend/coworker. Thursday was school. Friday I was home. I wanted to get out, but not having a car makes that kind of hard and I don’t want to invite someone out because I need them to come get me. The past two weekends there has been so much stuff to get into entertainment-wise. My favorite entertainment is music. My one friend that I share music enthusiasm is finicky. She is quick to say “we gotta check out, we gotta check out,” but sometimes she will jet set on her own making me more and more aware of how I need my own car.

I keep thinking about the future. My son’s future. My daughter’s future. My grandson’s. Mine. I think about buying a house so they can have it and live in it. I think about all the papers I have around the house that have old poetry. All of these writings are about love and heartache in some form. I’m at a crossroads on what to do with it. It’s a part of me. Mostly autobiographical, mostly wishes upon many stars, mostly chronicling my deepest desire: to be loved and accepted period.

I did end my weekend however with neck tension, a grocery store trip 3/4’s bottle gone of a sweet red wine (I had to indulge. I think the neck/head tension came from alcohol withdrawls. LOL).

I finished reading Gone Girl and am left not confused, but wondering if she killed him or did a fight ensue that had him ultimately killing her. I just don’t know. Maybe the movie closes out differently.

So Gone Girl and Orange Is The New Black have both been invading my dreams because I’ve been obsessed with them. When I was reading the book, I kept seeing Piper Chatman as Amy Elliot Dunne, then I’d watch the show and think about their similarities a little. Then I’d have an epiphany about Piper is me with the hold emotional yo-yo thing she was doing with Alex & Larry. smh I’m not bi-sexual though. LOL

Okay I’m done for now. Have a wonderful day.
Kindest regards,
Sister