118 in idea barrages

1.) Your art show will be all paintings inspired by Zappa songs. It will be called “Easels Ripped My Flesh, Rzzz!” You’re welcome.

2.) We did not need “totally adorable” shortened to “tohtz adorbz” but God help us we need “toedorbz” even less. The sound of The Seventh Seal breaking will be a diaper or paper towel commercial using the phrase “totes abzorbz”.

3.) Just singing the Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang song to my dad’s cat as “Kitty Kitty Maow Maow”. As you do.

4.) It was nice of Uggs to name their shoes after the reflexive sound one makes when one sees them, though.

5.) True fact: there is no point on the standard European calendar further from Valentines Day than my birthday.

6.) In my dream last night I got drunk & destroyed the throne of an absentee God. (They had BETTER NOT screw up Preacher, you guys.)

7.) A love letter to all that’s good about America is incomplete without hate-mail for all the ways it fails.

8.) In a doc file of The Bible, find & replace each instance of “God” with “Godzilla”. Do the same for “Jesus” & “Godzookie”. Enjoy.