We saw a free movie yesterday. Supergirl. I was not expecting much more than a typical superhero movie, but I was pleasantly surprised. There are heavy grief plots going on, and the title character is the antithesis of her squeaky clean cousin Superman. She is messy. MESSY. But she is also mighty.
Cool movie. But I wouldn’t pay for a ticket, and would just wait for streaming. Unless you’re a Super FAN. See what I did there?
We had grabbed one dollar sodas and a couple of one dollar snacks and put it all in my purse. I refuse to buy food at this theater after numerous reports that their kitchen had maggots in the food. And I don’t have movie theater food money, anyway. Give me a cold Pepsi and some gummy candies and I am a happy camper.
It was a good day. The energy shift is absolutely noticeable. Things don’t feel as heavy. That doesn’t mean that we have the all clear. But I think the tides are turning.
Rick NEEDS to get the rent handled TODAY. I have run through hypothetical conversations in my head, trying to find ways to express what I am thinking.
It all makes me wonder if this is a pattern. I hate even writing this. Admitting that his mask is finally slipping is really hard for me. I put him on a pedestal, and that wasn’t fair to anyone. We are all fallible. We are our best selves when we first meet our partners. I did not notice things until we moved in together. I thought I was the complicated one. Not so. There is a lot under the surface that I had no idea about. Nothing nefarious. Mostly just financial irresponsibility. I think a majority of that stems from undiagnosed ADHD.
Anyway, I took a few minutes to get dressed and talk to him. He’s getting the rent money today, so I can relax about that. I am going to talk to my therapist about this on Wednesday. I need to get way more comfortable speaking up.
I need to work today, even though I am 100% not feeling it. It is 11 here and by this time I am typically four hours into my work day. I have not even begun! I have one item to pack up to ship. Then I need to think about doing my photography day, intentionally.
I like having things ready and set up. All contingencies accounted for. Phone charged. Ice water nearby. Lighting set. Items prepped and ready. This includes steaming wrinkles out.
It is sort of like the French concept of mise en place, used in cooking. Everything is set up before you even begin. I have found this method makes me WAY more efficient, and I am able to manage my time better.
I have around fifty items to photograph and those items have to be photographed hung on a hanger. Each items needs around 4-12 pics. Every angle, accent, flaws, etc. It is a lot of standing, sitting, bending down. It gets hot in that room with the door closed, the blinds open and all of the lights on.
I realize I am stalling and procrastinating just by writing here, right now. I just needed to get my thoughts out, I guess.
The other night, I prepped chicken wings for dinner. The wings came as whole, and I had to do a bit of home butchering to separate the flats, drums, and tips. All I seasoned with was Kinder’s Butter Burger seasoning. I planned on saucing later. After I put the wings in the oven, I realized I did not want to cook anything else. Plus I have not had much of an appetite in the evening lately, so I didn’t want to eat. I told Rick to heat up the leftover rigatoni. I had nectarine sorbet, instead.
We had the wings, un-sauced last night with pinto beans and Mexican rice that Rick made. The wings were actually delicious as is. I don’t know why I avoid buying chicken wings to cook. We rarely eat them, but this might be a good idea to try out a bit more. And chicken wings are fairly inexpensive too. We each ended up with five wings each, and the pieces were not the meatiest, but still tasty.
Just took a short break to get my order together to ship. The multitude of tasks today feels like it’s a bit insurmountable. I have to remind myself that I was going to do all of this yesterday, but Rick got the free movie tickets. Lately, I am trying to get out of the house with him more than once a week. So I said yes. Saying yes to leisure yesterday, means saying yes to hard work today. That’s okay. I will work a little later today than usual.
When I am working hard on my reselling, I do not have a problem letting him handle the homemaking responsibilities like cooking and cleaning the kitchen. I am on a streak recently, so I have not been cooking as much. I also find cooking to be quite taxing as of late. Even sitting while do so fails to keep the intense back pain away. By the time dinner hits the table trays, I am sweating, swearing, and praying to god that Rick finds something to watch in a timely manner, lol.
I have my first appointment with my new primary care doctor tomorrow. I am seeing the office PA for the first appointment. I hope she is really quick at taking notes, lololololol.
Okay, I am finally going to get out of here. it’s lunch time. I am going to make something quick so I can get to work. I hope you all have a wonderful week.
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