From a walk on my own this morning. A long walk. After my last class before a week off and a long talk with my former coordinator who introduced me to Walt, though I had taken a couple of workshops with him. She’s the one that recruited me for his board. She had met Mr. B. in prison and knew of him from Walt but not a lot.
I did read the poem to my class on Tuesday. There were no men on that call, and a couple of women who I thought might not approve were also not on. It was a fascinating discussion and useful to me in a number of ways but most importantly this meant the Mr. B. cat was out of the bag so to speak.
Talking to my former coordinator, we shall call her Mrs. Birdsong, wow, there was a lot there. I kept her after class to tell her I was resigning from Walt’s board. As of now. She has known him for a very long time. And is close with his partner as well. All very inner circle. As she recruited me, I thought it was prudent (and hopefully, kind) to give her a heads up about why I was bailing.
She probed gently and got the meat of the story, the precursor to “The Fling”, the very bad day with Walt, and “The Fling” and subsequent ghosting.
It was good to talk about it! With a person who knows the parties and is well aware of some of Walt’s, well, flaws.
After my long slow walk, I came home and composed this…
Hi Walt,
First a gentle note on the Traherne meditations manuscript. Would it be possible to start with “Thomas Traherne believes in Love. He believes in the beauty and miraculousness of the world. He believes in happiness. So do I.” The way it is now is a little too Walt Whitman for me. But maybe that is what you were going for.
Anyway, I am resigning from the board of the Open Road as of today. I have talked to Mrs. Birdsong about this and will send a separate email out to the current board and the former members I know. With the change in my responsibilities at the League of Women Voters of Portland and the intensity of the last two years I want to (and need to) pursue other matters including deepening my yoga practice and therefore my teaching and my writing.
I am so grateful that the board and you believed in my poetry enough to want to give me the opportunity to publish a manuscript. I am not quite ready to go there and will be looking for other options. Thanks so much for that! The fact that you solicited poems regularly for the newsletters was so useful to me and I value that push.
The Dialogue Group has been an important part of my life these last years. It is awesome, Walt, I learned so much from you and the group and treasure my role as the pathfinder woman, the first to come regularly and get you guys all acclimated to a broader gender perspective.
I will come to the music thing on the 26th, am looking forward to it, and I hope to drop into the Dialogue Group on occasion, so, Friend of Open Road? I would appreciate it if we do not make a big deal out of me leaving. Please.
I will miss seeing our Zen Guy, I enjoyed getting to know him a little.
I hope you start to take of yourself. I mean that sincerely,
With love and fellowship,
noko
And although the conversation with Mrs. Birdsong was almost exclusively about Mr. B. here is Walt’s reply…
Dear noko
Thank you so much for all the love and support you have given to The Open Road!
I’m glad you are prioritizing what’s most essential to your happiness and wellbeing.
On the “Our Community” page on the website, I’ll move you from “Board Members” to “Faculty & Friends.”
You’ll still be on the email lists for The Open Road, Thursday morning dialogue group & Coffee Shop Philosophy–unless you want me to take you off any of those lists.
You’re still invited to publish your poetry book when it’s ready through Open Road Press and paid for by the Open Road Press Fund. If you want to discuss the pros and cons of this option with me at some point, I’m happy to do it.
As for Traherne…
The one-page introduction I sent is not what will be in the published book. I have another, slightly longer, version of “Thomas Traherne and Me” that I wrote earlier this year. I’ll send it in a separate email, but even it is not the finished version.
Thank you for your concerns about my health. I’m sorry that when you bring that up, I blurt out glib responses. It’s definitely an area where there’s lots of room for improvement.
I very much value our friendship. Your decision to step down from the board doesn’t change that even a teeny bit.
peace, love & happiness to you always
Walt
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