I am feeling angsty today. Mad at the world. Mad at the government. Mad at myself. Mad at the people I loved who have hurt me.
I am mad that so many of us aren’t making it. I am mad that I am selling off my life in order to be able to afford my life. We are in dire straits here, people.
I have put myself out there, I put feelers out with my skill set, asking for friends and family to spread the word that I am willing to do whatever I have to in order to get some income coming in. Meal prep, baking, photography, virtual personal assistant, organizing, valuation of items to be sold… I can go on and on. And I got CRICKETS back.
We were up late last night after a little disagreement. Talking. Both coming to the conclusion that money is at the root of our discontent. We started trying to think of other things we could sell. Rick was eyeing his favorite art piece, which hangs above our living room window. He LOVES that thing, and so do I. I told him we are NOT selling it.
Then it came to me… my ex, Jason, who I was with for TEN chaotic, painful years, left part of his art collection in my possession SEVEN years ago. I had rescued it all from his apartment that he was being evicted from, after he moved in with me. When I say those years were chaotic, I mean it. He was an alcoholic scoundrel, who put me through the ringer.
Cheating, lying, taking advantage of me for longer than I EVER should have allowed it to happen. He and I are on speaking terms now, after he got sober (the fourth time) and started going to therapy. He knows I have the art. I have asked him for two years to come and get it, and he keeps pushing it to a later time, but no real timeframe. NEXT spring. NEXT fall.
He has said repeatedly that he is going to sell it and give us half the money to compensate me for rescuing it, and storing it as long as I have. Meanwhile, it is in OUR storage unit, that we are in danger of losing.
I have four or five framed pieces. Three from lowbrow artists Kozik and Coop. And two very large framed lithographs from a Japanese artist named Hajime Sorayama. The Sorayama pieces fetch between 1200-2500 each. The Kozik and Coop pieces would fetch between 300-500 each.
That money could get us above water.
Part of me is conflicted. It’s not MY art. But if you go by the old “Possession is 9/10 of the law”, then I am entitled to it, especially after SEVEN years, and multiple attempts to get him to take it all back. His own father (whom I still communicate with frequently) told me to sell it all and keep the money. I know legally he probably wouldn’t have a leg to stand on. But I have a few scruples left, so this is a tough decision.
We are doing everything we can to get income coming in. Rick and I are sending out applications and resumes and so far, no dice. I am selling off wardrobe pieces I adore, including my bridesmaid dress I got for my would be maid of honor. I am selling things I would not ever think of getting rid of if circumstances were different.
We are both conflicted. But it has come down to the notion that it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission. It is a foreign concept to me. I think I am an honest, “good” person. But I also know that we need to be able to bridge the gap between work, and keep a roof over our heads.
AGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH. I hate this.
I just spoke to a lawyer via chat, and he said that if I have repeatedly requested he pick it up IN WRITING, (a text is considered in writing, apparently), and he keeps pushing the date back, I would be within my rights to sell or dispose of the art. Especially after SEVEN years.
I am going to sit with it.
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