m30 in idea barrages

Why say “space janitor” when you can say “vacuum cleaner”?

Violence never really fixes a problem. Maybe it kicks a can down the road, for violence to crop up again. Maybe it turns you into the monster you were trying to fight, doing the same to others. But violence ultimately only perpetuates itself. There is no good violence.

Why call video games “e-sports” if we’re not calling joust at the ren faire “thee-sports”?

The Paladin fears neither the undead nor their dread undying necromancer lord. If you’re having ghoul problems, he feels bad for you, son, he’s got ninety-nine problems but a lich ain’t one.

During your mid-life crisis, you will get into collecting Rolexes and other luxury timepieces. You will make a youtube channel about it. We all have to live with this awful truth. Could you at least call the channel ILIKETOWATCH? Could we at least have that one little laugh?

If you had the moral certitude to turn down the money for a role in Phantom Menace because it was such a bad script, you’d be invincible. You could never be morally questioned again. Your confidence would be complete and immortal. Who could deny someone that strong?

A parody of Eminem’s upcoming single “Houdini” about the Kool-Aid flavour The Great Bluedini. Maybe Purplesaurus Rex and Sharkleberry Finn each get to rap a verse.

Darius Rucker on Hee-Haw and his catchphrase is “Kiss my Hootie Patootie!”