I didn’t rise clean. I rose mean.
I’ll just update on my health. The inflammation has gone down so much. My waist looks snatched most days. I got colour to me, people think I have been tanning. Things are flowing. I ate plenty of wheat the last couple of days and had no reaction. That is the wild part. I thought I was going to look like I’m in my first trimester this morning after binging on Popeyes’ Chicken yesterday. I do not. Is my gluten problem over?
Ten years ago, when I went vegan, my city didn’t have a Popeyes. Every time I ordered it for my kids at work, I got FOMO. I just went for it the other day. So worth it. I don’t want to push it any further. I’ll wait until I feel the coast is clear. That will be when my nails are no longer concaving and when my hair is done falling out.
The anxiety is still high. I’m fine until my mind gets fixated on that guy from the gym again. This is so wild and confusing to me. Is this lethal attraction? Am I a stalker? Last night, when I felt myself getting pulled to the gym, I was honest with myself that it was in hopes of seeing him. This is what it felt like with Roarke. All of it. I did not like who I was with him. (This stranger reminds me of him.) I’ve been doing well at avoiding evening gym sessions. The gym was where I went to regulate that fight or flight. The mornings is when I have an easier time getting access to machines, but the seniors drive me up the fucking wall. I go back in the evenings for cardio because I like to split that up, and there is far less visual assault in the evenings. I’m a shallow person, sue me. Moring mingers… I can’t with them. The offend all my senses. I have compassion fatigue with seniors since I started this gym.
Not a whole lot going on right now. I’m still being a messy queen. Whatever this phase is, it too shall pass. I have been trying to find a place that will use CO2 fractional lasers to treat acne scars. It’s so menacing because they advertise it and then tell me otherwise when I email them about. No, we are for profit and need you to be a reoccuring customer that tries everything. Fuck.
Anyway, on with my day then.
Oh! My roommate, the only New Year’s Resolution I made, was to stop complaining about her and my coordinator so much. It’s toxic for everyone, especially me. I was so frustrated with her last night, however. I have an uncle who passed away. I told her that. I told her that I was texting with family about it. SHE WOULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE WITH IT! She went into blithering idiot mode, talking all about herself as always. I never wanted to slap someone so much in my life. READ.THE.ROOM!
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