m22 in idea barrages

The Bagel Bites jingle as a slow mournful bluegrass dirge. “Pizza… in the… morning. Pizza in… the evening. Pizza.... at supper… time. When pizza is on a bagel.... you can have… pizza… anytime.”

No one in Little Falls has yet hoaxed a cryptid called “The Lock 17 Monster” and frankly that’s on us for lack of effort.

If only more people were in the Venn diagram of “remembering back when Dave Chapelle was funny” and “watching travel programming on PBS”, we could have a really really good “I’M RICK STEVES, BITCH!” meme going on.

Everyone’s always surprised when a dumb kiddie flick dominates on Memorial Day Weekend, when a relatively dark mature action or science fiction film is also opening. This is the weekend for finding somewhere else air conditioned for people to take their children!

I’d be suspicious if Groot were in the audience at a comedy show. That’s probably a plant.

Best move Marvel could possibly make would be, on the day of the new Fantastic Four’s release, it turns out it’s just Corman’s FF with cleaned-up special effects and ADR. (The 2nd best would be surprise dumping it officially to Disney Plus, same day as the new one’s theatrical.)

When people ask “What are you most afraid of?” you gotta not be the first to answer. You gotta gauge the room. Is this a group ready for “being forcibly absorbed into a techno-organic hive-mind”? Are you gonna have to say “never finding real love” to sound normal?

Also, a really good name for a sad boy indie rock band, the only kind of new music I listen to anymore it seems, would be “The Rock-A-Fire Implosion”.