Transformative.
I have Scorpio ascendant. Scorpio the sign of transmutation, transformation; death, and rebirth. Ascendant being the outward projected personality people experience. I really play a role in other people’s transformational rebirths. I see it, I recognize it for them, I have a knack for asking questions that allows them to become conscious of their own inner experiences. It feels good for me to do that. I walk into their life, I talk to them, change their life, and walk out again. That’s my m.o.
But when it’s my own life, I don’t have that. I don’t have that insight into my self. I blunder along and realize well later that something significant has occurred. Something has become different. Something in me has changed along the way.
I have recognized in myself an ability to percieve events and even see visions that others do not percieve. This year is the year that I recognize my Self through all of it-connecting me to My spirit and to the Spirit. I can see it-its obvious to me- but I see so many things that other people do not see.
A simple example that material thinking will toss out as a silly coincidence, or insane pattern recognition where there is none, is that, I’ve had a white blanket with me for my entire life. I sleep with it. Every night if I can. For almost 40 years, now, I’ve had this blanket.
Occasionally, I think of getting a new one. No. It’s a hard no, in my body,every time. It’s not that I couldn’t get a new one. It’s that this one is mine, and it cannot be replaced. A new one would be meaningless. It could not possibly contain the energy of 38 years of dreams.
Now, some might recognize a well-known tradition in esoteric wisdom that in practice, meditation students wear a white shawl, or sash. The white cloth keeps alien energy out, and natal energy contained. Over time, a meditation shawl is said to absorb the power of accessing subtle states from the person using it, and can become a hugely valuable asset to them; allowing them to access deep states of awareness quickly and easily.
I didn’t know this until this year. I had just begun my daily practice, and I had bought my own, new, meditation shawl. I got it out and draped the beautiful linen fabric on my bed. Then I looked over and saw my white blanket. Holy fuck, I thought. I’ve had one for my entire life.
Did I mention that my dream life is out of this world?
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