I ve entered the strangest place I’ve been, so far.
So funny how that’s always the case.
Life only gets more strange. It gets more unexpected. It only goes in one direction. There’s never any going back.
I heard today, someone I can’t remember, that living in coherence and synchronicity is a one-way street. There is no turning back, even if one wanted to. There is no way to UNsee, in a lifetime.
And that makes me wonder.
Life itself is a time of individuality out of a sea of unification. Daytime consciousness is a continuous narrative. Nighttime is a dreamy flow of sensation and images that float through our awareness, and is normally not remembered as part of our daytime conscious. Regardless of conscious remembering, our dreams affect our waking life. So does the time spent in murky unification with the cosmos have an effect on our earlthy lives, it would seem. And possibly, the same mechanism that has us forget the time between lives or even other lives acts on our waking memory of dreams.
I had an experience of utter letting him just simple Acceptance and peace with What IS. More particularly, the situation in which I find myself now; home alone with 2 young children by myself for a month and my husband in jail over the most ridiculous thing possible. I saw and knew, somehow, in a profound and simple way, that this is just a challenge. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It’s not a judgement. It’s not a condemnation. It’s not defining. It’s just an experience. And, my experience is actually quite nice-joyful, even- if not for my insistence on meaning, my judgements, my whatever.
I percieved that everything happening as a perfect reflection of my expectation based on my emotional reactivity. AND, I saw the other side of the coin, which is the invitation. The “Other” who invites me into a dance and maneuvers for a particularly personally beneficial move. The most emotionally intense reaction possible. But there is another choice. There is always a choice. The choice to dance with or against the Other is essentially the same choice; it is merely reaction to the invitation. The other choice is to dance solo, or alone, or unconditionally, or for myself, by myself, without reactivity. That choice doesn’t involve refusal -because that is just another reaction and a dishonorable one- nor ignoring the other-for that again is reactivity and a dishonor-but it involves the mastery of the inner experience of being invited. That experience isn’t ignored or rejected - it is expressed fully, felt fully, integrated fully, so that not an iota of a snag or hook is left. Gracefully, my experience is moved through every body, every layer, every plane and no-thing is rejected, ignored, or forgotten. It is all accepted into my awareness and transformed ineffably by it.
And truly strange things happen. Unexpected things. Magical things. Mystical things. I am shown a way so clear and simple it’s genius and infallibility are undeniable. I see the path that led me inexorably to this place. How it taught me what I needed to know next at each step-and nothing more. Because faith in the next step is necessary, not because spirit enjoys mystery.
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