Steroids: May Cause Moodiness Wednesday, March 02, 2005
So my doctor put me on steroids. I got a shot yesterday and have pills to take. I have a rash that itches only when I am warm. If I am not warm then it's not there. So, in other words only when I am bathing or sleeping do I have it. He thinks it's related to stress. He called it Nuerogenic. That's fine. Whatever. He gave me steroids to "put my body back into it's normal state." Ok whatever. So far all it's done is make me write a "poor me" entry and cry uncontrollably. If that's not bad enough it's probably going to make me gain weight. He said the dosage was light enough that that shouldn't happen. Well, I'll see.
I feel a bit better than I did last night and this morning. This morning I went from being ok to give me a knife I am ending my life now in about 30 seconds. It was actually amazing. I haven't had that kind of mood swing since I was addicted to caffiene pills in high school. I was so irritated I just wanted to go home from work, crawl into my bed, and cry myself to sleep. I didn't do that. I just waited it out. Then I was fine. Yeah... go me... mood swing queen.
Obivously, from the past entry it's clear that Mr New guy didn't work out. Ok, whatever. We are still friends. However, I would really like to tell him... "That's nice, but I don't need any more friends. I have plenty of friends. What I need is a boyfriend." However, I had a boyfriend that I was breaking up with that said pretty much the same thing to me (except he needed a girlfriend) and I remember thinking how shallow that seemed. So what I am left with it a great guy... that's just my friend. Whatever.
So my exboyfriend is being a complete asshole. This is the ex that lives here in the complex. The one I was nice enough to pull some strings to get him in here. The one I give free laundry for. The one I always help when he needs it. Well, he gave me this hopechest about 4 months ago because I wanted it. (nice huh?) Well he won't bring it to me. Just offered it and then won't follow through. When I was originally the one that got it for him! I just want it back because he doesn't use it. Well he won't help me. Even though a few months ago he called me at 1 oclock in the morning to pick his ass up because he was too drunk to drive. I did it to be nice. However, the asshole can't do one freaking thing for me. All he has to do is help me carry it up a flight of stairs. We live in neighboring buildings so it's not that far. However, he refuses. Always has an excuse. So, I am fucking towing his car tomorrow. I am not putting up with shit anymore. I asked him to move the car off the property, but he won't. I gave him 1 month notice and he still won't do it. I stickered today. Tomorrow it will be gone. Asshole. It's not currently licenced either so when he goes to try to get it out, he'll have to pay for that. Jerk.
I am eating more calories than 550 if anyone is curious. Sunday was just an odd day. I slept most of it. It's my lazy day. I eat right around 1000 a day. However, I am getting nervous that I won't be 143.8 by Saturday. If I am not, then I will be officially off track. However, if I can just get to 139.9 by my sister's wedding I think I will be ok with that. That will be a total of 18 pounds lost. I think that that is a good weight for me anyway. I am 5'5 so my ideal weight is about 133. I would really love to be that. However, I don't think that will ever happen. In high school I was 128. However, now I am just dreaming. I am still aiming for 135. I'll do it. On a side note, I can't believe I only have 1 month and a couple weeks left of this diet. That's crazy cool.
I bought a hundred dollar picture from Home and Garden. It's of an angel with butterflies. My room decor has the butterfly theme going on. I thought it would like nice. I can't wait to get it. It's a pretty large picture. I am still trying to figure out how I am going to hang it. Oh well.
Man, I am really trying not to hate life right now. However, I have all this anger inside me. It's quite frustrating. I just have this need to scream and yell at people. Tell everyone where to go. I wish I could just calm down. Perhaps I need yoga? I think I will just go to bed instead.
Goodnight all.
Her
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Smile, I'm happy! I got a note from the mail man that I have a parcel to pick up! Woo Woooo, present for me! :) Love ya! Chadfound 3/3/2005 4:25:52 AM
that's so awesome, that you're towing that asshole's car. smug satisfaction is the best kind! :D
how long do you have to be on the steroids for? maybe the mood swings will calm down after your body is used to them?
the butterfly and angel picture sounds beautiful!
hmm... maybe you could tell people "where to go" but instead of saying "hell" or "up your own ass, jerk" you could say "to the [mayonessa]
3/3/2005 12:33:09 PM
grocery store!" or "go to mcdonald's and get me some ice cream, please!" but, you know, scream it like you want to say the other things. it'll sound totally tourettes, but it might cause you (or the intended recipient) to laugh and hopefully diffuse the anger.
note: i've never tried that myself, but maybe next time... [mayonessa]
3/3/2005 12:34:52 PM
bed is the cure to all.. aside from killing people that are causing you problems... but that'll get you stuck in the clink... but then they have a bed... and the bed is a cure to all your problems... less you are your own problem... then alcohol is the cure!
HA-HA! Joking! I keeed.. I keeed! [LastInLine]
3/3/2005 1:48:22 PM
im sorry, but can you do me a favour that only you can do? remember that entry i put in a long time ago. I forget the title.. but something like "I want a girl". You reposted it when i came back to the OD? If you could puuuuleese send a copy of it to [email protected] i would love you forever and a day. Or, if that doesnt work for you tell me what does. Thank you! [LastInLine]
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