Her ⋅ 48

I'm a previous OpenDiary subscriber. I bet most of you are too. I'm a Diagnostic Medical Sonographer (I do ultrasounds) I have 1 daughter (Lily) 1 Dog (Callie) 1 cat (Sophie) And 'C' is Lily's father.

1. Go Sky Diving 2. Ride a horse 3. Get Married. 4. Have children and have my brother be able to meet them 5. Write a book 6. Publish a book 7. Own a house 7.5 Own a BIGGER house 8. Travel through the mountains 9. Learn to Play Solfeggietto on the pi

Entries 454

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I like Prosebox. I mean, why wouldn’t I? It was there when I needed it most. It’s reliability was well, reliable. However, that’s where it started, and ended with me. I never loved it. So al...


That’s all I have to say. Life is good. (you can tell because there aren’t a lot of entries lately) I just really never felt this place like I did OpenDiary. So yeah, not sure, but I think I w...


October 19, 2017

Everything Changes in Out in the Open

That’s the song I am listening to right now. It’s from the musical The Waitress. The phone call I received yesterday was not from K. Not going to lie, I’m a bit disappointed about it. However,...


October 18, 2017

Day 3 in Out in the Open

Today was much easier. I worked though, so it kept my mind off of him. Someone called me from a number I didn’t recognize. I was playing a game on my phone so my first reaction was to cancel t...


Here’s the thing about K. There is one thing he does incredibly well, and that is hide from me. It doesn’t bother him to go days with out talking to me. Sometimes he’ll go a week. Doesn’t hav...


October 16, 2017

Goodbye Love in Out in the Open

I am grieving losing you. Inside my head I am repeatedly thinking about you. I can’t get you out of my mind. However, I know it’s going to get easier. I walked away from you before. It took ...


March 01, 2017

The Play in Out in the Open

When I started this play I was absolutely thrilled in all ways for so many reasons. I was nervous because I went out of my comfort zone and sang in front of a room full of strangers. I hadn’t re...


The same dishes lay sitting on the counter that were there 9 days ago. They haven’t moved. There are 7 vases of flowers sitting around my house slowly decaying. A bookbag sits next to the livi...


I am losing my voice. I am feeling panicked. I feel a bit overwhelmed. There is so much to learn and luckily I know most of the words, but unfortunately, I don’t know most of the notes. I am ...


January 05, 2017

Day 2, The Play in Out in the Open

Oh my gosh was practice fun today! They assigned me top soprano which is what I used to be and I was a little hesitant at first, but the more I sang the more confident I became. It’s a whole wor...


January 03, 2017

Day 1, The Play in Out in the Open

It’s been 21 years since I was in my high school choir. I was in the performance choir where we would go around performing for various audiences. It was considered the “highest” choir in the sc...


It’s 2017 and I just read through many of these entries. I am light years ahead in so many things compared to back then. I have a great job. I have great friends. I feel so happy inside most ...


All last month C was asking me to move in with him. He’s asked me before but I always politely declined. I had absolutely no desire to move in with him. I liked my space, my own home, being cl...


January 30, 2016

Learning more in Out in the Open

Stayed up until almost 2am with my exchange student. We talked for so long about everything. She’s so smart, kind, and beautiful. She’s teaching lily and me so much. This is an amazing experienc...


January 24, 2016

Exchange Student in Out in the Open

So I decided that I would invite an exchange student into my home. She got here on Thursday night. She’s 17 years old and she’s from Italy. She will be attending the school here. She is doing h...


January 18, 2016

You Again in Out in the Open

I worry about you. Way more than I probably need to. But I do. I know you aren’t strong all the time. You try to be, but you fail. We all do. But when you fail you go much lower than most people....


January 11, 2016

C in Out in the Open

There are times that your love feels real. You called me “your girl” last night. I reread that text a million times. Each time my heart fluttered like a school girl about to get her first kiss. ...


You stopped talking to me like we had no past, no history. It was as though I was just something ok to just throw away. Yes, I told you I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t have the strength to ...


November 28, 2015

Panis Angelicus in Out in the Open

This happens way too often. This feeling that I love you. This hope that you might just love me back. The way you sometimes look at me and treat me makes me feel special and loved. It’s just a...


October 06, 2015

Substitute Teaching in Out in the Open

Yesterday in the class I subbed for something wonderful happened. I handed an assignment out and one child pushed the paper back and said, “oh, I can’t do this kind of stuff.” I quickly smiled a...


So much has happened. Why? Because life just keeps moving no matter if you type in Prosebox or not. Which I wish I would have wrote it down, but alas, I did not. First of all my 6 year old da...


I thought I was strong enough to accept C’s son. I am not. Lily met him last night and I fell apart. I was a complete mess. I hate C for that child. Not because he had sex with another woman...


I haven't been here in awhile. I am working a lot. And when I'm not working I am with Lily playing. I have been on some dating sites. Not really been a positive experience. Been kind of awf...


So C has made it clear, multiple times that he will not provide her a sibling. Then he hints that maybe he will, but then he changes his mind again just so he can tell me no again. I have had e...


My life has been so good as of late. However, occasionally I still fall into a bit of a funk. C has told me no as a final decision on having another child. I have NOT been taking this well. I ...


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