Prosebox is the space I go to for venting. I suppose it is a positive thing that I have not been posting so much.
I got to look at everything from a safe space over my winter break. My relationship with work has changed. My relationship with my coordinator has also changed. He fully stepped into his role and has been rocking it. I have been focusing on my own role. He and HR are trying to get me a few extra bucks an hour and some retro pay. There is just one thing standing in the way; we just have to wait.
My relationship with my roommate has changed. She spoiled me rotten for my birthday. My coordinator did too, in fact. I was just making fun of him yesterday because his wife just had a birthday, and I called him out for spending more on me than on his wife. I feel like I have my friend back, at home, with my roommate. It’s been nice. Last night, she got on my nerves, so I had to walk away, but that isn’t going to ruin everything. There is just a misunderstanding about our lease, and I can’t understand it for her. She will catch up eventually.
The health battle continues. I’m definitely feeling the fatigue. I’m seeing so many practitioners. An acupuncturist who does colon hydrotherapy, a chiro who works with the nervous system, she also does somatic therapy. I see a vegan dietitian, a kinesiologist, and an osteopath. I have my therapist, and I see my family doctor next month. I’m still on the hunt for an old school Naturopath. This week I saw almost all of them. It’s been an expensive week. I also see someone who specializes in hair loss. I just bought a 2k appliance for my hair. I don’t want to talk about it lol.
The kinesiologist, I saw her on Tuesday. My friend recommended me to her. I was open-minded. She did iridology, and it blew my mind. My acupuncturist did as well, but this time it was so dead accurate I got spooked. I told her nothing; she told me everything I am experiencing. Right down to the inflammation and chronic pain in my shoulder. All from looking into my eyes.
My osteopath is working on my abdomen as well, like, this is just all hands on deck.
Why am I fighting so hard? First of all, this journey could be thesis material down the line. There is a doctor, Chris Palmer, who has a different approach to ADHD that I do like. It is a metabolic issue. It doesn’t fit in my theory to a tee. I have a more holistic approach that I am trying to navigate on my own. I am aiming to meet the MD who inspired me to fight this fight in April. He has his workshop, and I want to go again. I’m experiencing what most people are experiencing, only I’m not desensitized to it anymore. Anyone who has high stress, that is. The body is not prioritizing digestion. The systemic effects of that catch up. I absolutely can turn this around for myself, but it is not easy. I have to change absolutely everything. I could correct it all in six months if I had perfect discipline.
I’m a Capricorn. I’m here to suffer, and master things, and then teach others.
Anyway, today is a weird one. I do work, but I’m solo, so I’m just doing two one-on-ones with my kids. I don’t even have to go to the office. We’re all getting sick at the office. That is how I ended up alone today. Had to cancel a group program. I was barely over my flu, and then I caught a cold. I don’t even know what life is like without a cough anymore. I’ve been at this since December. I’m on the tail end, though. Just the sinus drip.
I’ve been battling the ADHD executive dysfunction, as per usual. Do we need another PB entry about it? I signed up for the course I need. I start Feb. 4th. Now my anxiety has been a problem. I know what I have to do to make myself feel better, so I cleared my schedule for the next two days so I can do just that. I’ve been using my gym as an escape. I go way too much. I want to use the steam room, so that incentivizes me to work out first. The novelty will wear off eventually.
Blah, I got to move on with my day.
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