I felt like baking for the first time since July. I mean i did some holiday stuff but not a ton this year. Depression and relationship stress were really hurting me this year. Today is in part thanks to a second adderall I took at 1. Its almost 3 and im fully done, so its not like I spent a TON of time in the kitchen. Mostly i scrolled tiktoks while chopping and drinking soda with a straw.
My kid's friend was working for a food bank and my kid ended up bringing home like 10 containers of little roma tomatoes. I gave everyone like a week to use the damn things. Now I have a massive pot simmering on the stove sewing them down for sauce ( or tomato bisque if you just add some cream) Once its done simmering with the herbs. Ill blend it all up into the sauce and freeze for next time we make something with red sauce. Its SUPER easy and a great way to use up the last of the garden tomatoes, or in this instance, food bank tomatoes in perfect shape lol. Literally, not even a single one bruised up. Confused by their appearance but ok.
There are a bunch of tiny baking pumpkins and they are painted for Halloween. Im probably going to wash the paint off, slice and see if they are any good inside. If so ill stew them down for pumpkin puree and if they look or smell funky, the chickens will love them! Maybe dry out a few seeds to grow next spring. I havent done this yet, but I want that box out of my kitchen... My stove is FULL of boiling stuff and baking stuff so Im out of SPACE!
I made soup bags, peeled washed and chopped all my soup veggies ( parsnip, turnip, rutabaga, bok choy, celery, green onion and carrots) and am making chicken stock, Tony isnt feeling the best so he may get sick and Ill be making a thick chicken stew tonight. The rest of the bags will go into the freezer for the next few soups, I use the same veg regardless of my soup, so its a veg base. IE Beef, Potato, Chicken, Broccoli and cheese ( though I use less in that one)
Then we had some bananas left over so I whipped up some banana apple bread with allspice so if Tony is feeling ok, he has a loaf of fresh sweet bread to enjoy.
One of our relationship goals ( couples counseling) is working on each other's love languages. His is more physical touch and words of affirmation. So im working on saying things more. Seeing me making him sweet treats or knitting him scarves and winter wear dosent really work. I have to use words. Now its HARD. I wish he could just hear my thoughts and it would be much easier. BUUUTT He cant.. So I have to say things. I feel awkward and weird but im TRYING. I hope it helps him some. He thinks its weird hearing me say compliments. Not because im saying them, or anything to do with me. Just he thinks its weird hearing them lol.
I saw on a tiktok where they were saying if one feels that physical touch ISNT their love language but reserve it for people they really love IE not huggy ect. It really IS your biggest love language because you only bring it out for people you really love. So that kinda made me feel a tiny bit better. Im not physical but im working on it.
Anyway, im feeling a bit better today then I have. Ive actually been a bit overdosed on my testosterone, so im 6 days late on my injection on purpose to bring my dosage down and im starting to feel better. Like physical sensations are stronger ( they were numbing everywhere!!) and im more "in the mood" though we arent fighting and its been almost what 4 weeks? AND we have argued without a REAL fight. Like disagreed and moved on... Thats progress. A LOT of progress. The downsides, and this was two things I noticed when my testosterone was ideal. Im more smelly, ie need deodorant twice a day, I am OBSESSED with Dove Mens apples cinnamon burbon scent OMG, and my pee smells strong despite being clear and extremely well hydrated. I guess its a thing for some people. BUT now that im back in a better dosage im seeing the good things returning. BUT im going to let myself drop lower before I actually start my dosage again. Within a week ill be at baseline which was like 3. Instead of the 250 on my lowest ( trough) day. Which I need to sit in the 150s for happy spot. If I dose now, Ill just go too high again.
In any event, Progress...
Time to check my bread!
Loading comments...