I was reading an entry about a person they met who was forward about their Christianity. The formed a relationship and then one day the person yanked an emotional rug from underneath them.
I try to be careful when giving opinions on situations like this, because it’s easy to sound judgmental when what I’m really trying to describe is formation.
On the surface, there are a lot of people who identify as Christian. And that identity may be sincere. But identity and formation are not the same thing. Many people are still very much in process internally, even if externally they know the language, the culture, and the motions.
What I’ve noticed over time is that when someone hasn’t yet developed discipline or depth in a particular area, that’s usually where the cracks show under pressure. When desire, fear, or familiarity resurfaces, conviction often folds—not because the person is evil or dishonest, but because formation takes time, consistency, and resistance.
Scripture often compares maturity to rootedness—to trees, not waves. Trees don’t announce their depth. You only discover it when the wind comes.
That’s why I tend to be cautious around people who lead with labels and volume—especially when faith is presented loudly, quickly, and performatively. Not because faith should be hidden, but because what hasn’t been rooted yet often has to be announced.
In contrast, the people who consistently leave the deepest impression on me are usually quieter about their faith, not louder. They tend to be calm, compassionate, slower to criticize, and less interested in projecting an image. Their faith shows up in how they listen, how they treat people, how they handle disappointment, and how they honor others when it costs them something.
They don’t brag about what they believe—not because they’re ashamed—but because they’re actually living it. Love doesn’t need to self-advertise. It reveals itself over time.
That’s just my perspective—but I’ve found that what’s most deeply rooted is often what makes the least noise.
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