I’m feeling weird and introspective tonight.
I have not gotten into the decorating mood like I thought I would in the previous entry. Normally we’re an “outdoor lights on November 12th” and “Christmas Tree on December 1st” kinda family, but M put up a few lights outside last week and we just got our tree on the 13th.
There’s a bit of a story to the tree this year. I don’t know why we were putting it off, but it’s kinda weird that we did, because yesterday I was helping Mandy with going through bins in her basement (sorting what she wanted to keep, what she wanted to donate and what she wanted to leave for her ex), and she decided she did not want her very nice Christmas tree anymore - she wants to rid herself of all the ex related vibes. She offered it to me, and I told her I’d pay her for it (she said I didn’t have to but shit’s hard enough on her without giving away her stuff for free). I texted M about it and said “I want it if you want it” and he replied “I want it.
I finished helping Mandy sort through her basement and then took the donations straight to the Thrift Store so she didn’t have to deal with them anymore.
I picked up Pita Pit on the way home. M asked for something delicious and I didn’t want to bring home burgers again
Turns out both M and I were feeling anxious about having to go out and get a real tree this year. The fact that this very lovely tree just fell into our laps was great. When I got home we immediately set it up and lit it, and I spent a not insignificant time fluffing the branches. Which was promptly undone by Cosmos climbing around the branches for a solid 10 minutes.
Defying tradition M insisted that we put the star on top first, before we decorate it. I did add a single strand of coloured lights (the tree came with warm white lights), and I’m really enjoying the simplicity of just a tree with lights (and a star). M says he wants to put decorations on it. I won’t protest.
I did wrap some empty boxes with holes cut into them for the cats to enjoy under the tree, so that was fun.
Having all this stuff going on with Mandy has really ramped up the gratefulness for having a partner like M. It’s weird that he can be steadily improving in his perspective, but also steadily declining in his attitude because of chronic pain. We have such nice times together, but we also have a lot of conversations about how much things suck for him. Because his symptoms are mostly invisible it’s easy to forget that he deals with them constantly, so while he feels like he’s constantly complaining, I feel like he’s giving me a better idea of what he’s going through.
5 days until our Holidays begin.
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