The quality of this word has grown for me over the weekend.
As I recapitulate the experience of seeing my eyes in the mirror as silver alien saucers, I feel an undeniable surge of pleasant energy. It feels pleasurable. It is very pleasing.
This energy I drew back into myself through recapitulation - it is very different from the energy I expended in the original experience. It has a definite quality of sweetness. I feel it in my loins. As I draw it up, into my solar plexus, I feel a solid sort of well-being. I feel full, as if of good food and nourishment.
As I draw it up into my heart, I feel sweet tenderness. I feel sadness for leaving my newfound friends and tribe behind. I feel recognition for my own place among them. I feel a power in belonging- one that transcends opinion or emotion. It is a place made not by humans at all. I have a place. I have a people. I have purpose among them.
As I draw it up further, into my throat, I feel a sudden grief. Intense grief- although it too is not unpleasant. It’s a grief of having something profound- of profound discovery. I am reminded of the sky here at night. The incredible stars. Like glitter strewn across a velvet tablecloth, they are so numerous and silently glowing.
As it rises into my eye, I feel a steely strength. I feel a ruthlessness - an ability to have no pity and to be impeccable.
It comes to my crown. This energy. I sense my own individuality. I sense that seeing and Dreaming are a part of my individual make up.
Overall, I feel elation. Butterflies in my stomach. This transmutation of energy is… Remarkable. I feel like I have discovered how human beings are naturally meant to use and recycle their own energy. That anything could happen - and the more terrifying the better. The more intense the better. Because it will all come back as usable and perfectly suited energy to go even deeper. To be used even more intensely.
Give more, get more.
I can’t wait to recapitulate all these memories.
Loading comments...