dec 6 in idea barrages

The interesting thing about artistic success is how it automatically undoes itself, like one of those toys where you press a button and a hand pops out to turn itself back off. Your muse is grounded in the normal human experience and its rewards cut you off from that experience.

Twain said there are “lies, damned lies and statistics” unless someone else said it and I’m lying. However, in baseball, there is a fourth even-worse iteration: small-sample-sized statistics. The worst lie of all.

“God, I hope you don’t realize how hot you are…” devilish pause “…because then I have a chance!” is a real all-or-nothing pick-up line, home run or strikeout, that’s it. But it’s FUNNY is what matters.

The cool thing is, as the people’s names get weirder, their pets names get more normal. It used to be Susie and Spike, Billy and Spot, Aaron and Fido. Now it’s Breighdyn and Steve, Awshleeee and Harper, Drayedin and Molly. It’s a whole thing and I just blame Utah, full stop.

Has anyone done a parody of the scene where Darth Vader cries “NO!” and stomps around like baby Frankenstein but it literally goes on for 35 minutes instead of just feeling like it? Like Darth wanders off to stomp sadly around a mall but yelling “NO!” continuously?

Corporations realize they can’t get away w/ killing off THREE whistleblowers, they know two is pushing it, so from the 3rd on, they just frame them for a crime that ruins their credibility. Like they did with the Kennedys! Boeing only gets one more before they gotta get creative.

Build a statue of ALF entirely out of discarded POGs. Periodically say to it “It’s POGs… in ALF form!”

Singing Van Halen’s “Panama” but about “Bananas in Pajamas”.