Alright, so our Youth Manager told me that there is a coordinator position opening up soon for a youth program that has a different age bracket than mine, but he couldn’t tell me more than that. It’s Virginia. They’re going to fire Virginia. She is missing 30k from her funds and is putting pressure on the organization to tell her where it went. She needs it to fund the event she is putting together. I’m half tempted to take the position, but I explained to him that I am too invested in the youth in my current program. He brought up that he learned that I already rejected a promotion. I explained that I want to stay on the frontlines. Her program is for youth ages 18-25 who are exiting foster care. It’s a tough demographic. Her participants have FAS and other situations that make it look very challenging. However, her role isn’t to participate in the programs but to stay behind the scenes. That’s not what I want.
My coordinator is getting over a cold, but I can tell that his heart is no longer in it. He has FOMO. Our part-time mentor put in his notice; he is going back to school. Everyone in his little world is going back to school. This job is just a stop along the way for him. He only wanted to give it two years, which he has. So he is looking to enroll in January, but next August for sure. I planted the seed to both of them, him and his boss, that we should transition me into the role.
He cleared our schedule for the evening so we could restructure our program. He will do anything to avoid one-on-one time with our kids. Just like I predicted in my previous entry, I didn’t like his decisions, but I am rolling with them. For example, one of our participants had a broken guitar, which he just fixed. That is nice of him, but it was expensive. We don’t even know where we are with our cash flows because we haven’t seen them since April. We need to be frugal or he needs to get his Youth Manager to at least get that number for us. “They’re restructuring our cash flows” but I know it means that they are taking that away from us. It’s in his SPA contract, for all coordinators, that he oversees the funds to ensure that they are spent according to program needs, but as we know, the new Executive Director, who works with the government, is not going to let us see our money. We can’t touch it now, and now we can’t talk to our funders directly. She is going to centralize everything. She just fired the man who runs finance to install one of our own spineless people. And the last of our original people in operations just “went on leave.” We know what that means. RIP.
To be honest, my heart isn’t in it either. My heart is still in BC. Once I see my boys this evening, that will change. The politics of the organization isn’t my fight. The boys are. I have to remind myself of that.
My conversation with my roommate last night got under my skin. I barely remember what it was about, but she is just so hypercritical, and her opinions are deeply unintelligent. She’s too dumb to know she is dumb. When she doesn’t understand something, she thinks that it means that it is stupid and not her. So she says something condescending, but you’re left looking at her, baffled by how dumb it was. Then you feel stupider for just hearing it.
Anyway, I’m feeling a little FOMO about everyone going back to school. January is when I would register again. I’m mostly feeling FOBI, fear of being included, because school sucks. I don’t know how I would support myself if I went to university. I’m too old for OnlyFans lol.
Edit
I waited all summer for this week. My hours are back to days and not mornings. I got Tuesday all to myself, but now we have maintenance in and out of here, and I need that breathing space before work. I don’t need to get out of the shower and find men in my room, for instance. They are replacing all of our ACs, which takes two business weeks, apparently. I didn’t shower yesterday, and today, we will see.
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