My heart feels heavy today.
I was aiming to do a community walk, but I was feeling a little down on my way to work. I am not desensitized to what I witness when I do those walks. I feel grief-struck after. I didn’t want to carry that into the one-on-one I had this afternoon with one of our new participants.
Whenever Jimmy crosses my mind, my heart breaks because I feel like I am not allowed to forget about him. I have his obituary printed and displayed at my desk. I read it again today. He died in his sleep. I didn’t catch that part the first time I read it.
My coordinator is on holiday. Things are flowing a lot better with me running the show this week. I left work yesterday feeling so good. Job satisfaction, I overdosed. I did it again today. However, I still feel sad.
I leave for BC in two days. A little getaway will be nice. Lonely, that’s more like what I feel. Got nobody on my side whenever I need someone. I’ll be okay.
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