. It’s been a while few days. Our hot water stopped working like a week ago. We’ve been boiling water to take baths and wash up. I am so fucking sick of this place I could seriously scream. I have put in a request online and nobody has showed up to fix it.
We’ve been fighting some because we have been trying to get this house where we are going and it’s been ups and downs and waiting for the landlady to respond to text messages and blah blah blah. We’ve sent money to his Dad for them to give it to her. They are to meet her today to give her the money. She finally responded to my honey today and finally got the green light that it’s ours and we are moving in!
I am so happy that this emotional rollercoaster is finally over. We have to finish packing and figure out how to clean this place which won’t be easy considering we have no hot water. I think we are planning to leave sometime next week but I have to get my medications first because I don’t know how long I’ll have to wait to get into a dr there and all that.
CS called this morning. They are pretty sure he’s no longer working and has put himself down as homeless. I have no doubt that he’s staying somewhere but just doesn’t want CS mail to show up. His job had posted the other day looking for people and I kinda wondered then if he had quit. He messaged me a couple times saying that he’s just been busy with work and then last night said he’d had another heart attack. I don’t believe him and all he’s ever done is lie. It’s just amusing that he’s trying to gain sympathy even when he’s actively fucking me over.
I did work over the weekend and was able to make my car insurance and credit card bill. I have a disconnect from the electric company but I might get help paying it. I don’t want to leave here with debt or owing anyone money. I know we’ll probably hook up electric in his name when we get there but I’m the person who pays her bills and it’s driving me crazy that I didn’t make shit this morning because this week I need my car note and I want to pay something towards that bill.
But yeah, with BD I am just so tired of being lied to. I have a child because of his lies. I seriously can’t take the lies anymore. I don’t know how the fuck people just lie there way through life but I can’t tell you how nice it’s going to be to start a new life somewhere far away and never have to worry bout running into him somewhere. I wish he understood that he can lie to me all he wants but at the end of the day, he’s lying to his child too. The lies make me feel that I’m not worth the truth. But it’s alright because my daughter has a Dad that’s there for her everyday and makes sure she’s taken care of.
It’s been really stressful lately. This thing where I just don’t make enough money and having to work the weekends really gets to me. I just always have that guilt because I’m not with my family and I lose time with my daughter. It’s bullshit that I can’t just make my money during the week and be able to do family stuff on the weekend. This Summer is definitely different then last year. I just can’t believe how badly shit’s gone downhill.
I’m really annoyed that I can’t take a shower. I bought some dry shampoo this morning but you just can’t use that forever and I am so pissed that I can’t just run hot water and be a normal person. This is unsanitary and completely insanity. We have nobody to fix things because they fired the last guy so no idea even if or when someone might do anything. Boiling pots of water to wash dishes and take sponge baths is really time consuming and I’m always afraid I’m going to burn myself.
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