In revelatory splendor, my whirled is once again blown away by the realization of deeper levels of inversion.
It began with a feeling. A shallow, but insistent feeling in my stomach. It was nervous; a type of worry. A type of anxiety. I became convinced that it was connected to the mail. Still early in the day, I would wait for the mail to come and see if my body was correct. What would be so terrible that would come in the mail today?
The mail didn’t come. I checked finally at 3 o clock, and again, 3 more times. No mail. I suddenly realized the feeling; it was a fear of being forgotten. The fear that I don’t matter. The feeling that I’m not important at all. Not even a teeny tiny little bit. This was the exact same feeling I had about my father. I resent that I mean nothing by my own father. I hate it! I feel an urge to pick a fight with his idiotic, stupid, ignorant ass. And yet, I don’t give any fucks about him… Whoa. Is this right? I feel anger, but, then, who is actually fearing being unimportant?
As things are often ironically conveyed by the subconscious, I mistakenly associated the feeling with the mail when in reality the feeling was associated with the male.
As I gained this clarity around what my body was experiencing, an imagination like the sun rising in the morning overcame my conceptual archetypes of Masculinity, Femininity, and the divine Creative forces. As if in darkness for the past conceivable while, a revelatory framework became illuminated from the ground up- using my own experience and feelings as the foundation.
And it dawned on me- as it were- that this is the true mark of Feminine Self Worth. Being in the knowing that only the female form can create life inherently. Only women have the power to Be value. As the old adage goes; Women Being, Men Doing.
One of the most immediately identifiable Feminine personal traits is the ability to turn away from people. Anyone, really; to turn away from, or withdraw, from anyone and everyone who does not serve one. I don’t mean serve in an attitude of subjugation, but rather an attitude of cherishing and love. If someone is violent, ill-tempered, combative, adversarial, or even just indifferent instead of interested, to simply walk away or withdraw one’s presence, is a preeminent form of Feminine self-worth.
There is no ego in this act. It is simply a question of, ‘What is there in this for me?’ and if the answer is nothing, or just an invitation that doesn’t necessarily benefit one, then one in true Feminine self-worth has zero qualms about simply saying no, and leaving. I will be careful to point out that “benefit” one doesn’t mean to please or to flatter one superficially, but it does mean that there is a capacity and willingness to align in a shared purpose or direction.
Without judgement, I have noticed that most people are not like this. Mostly, people want to argue. People are combative to one degree or another. One might want to prove to whoever it is who is indifferent, that one is worthy of higher regard. This attitude is often provoked in women- from both men and women who themselves lack self-worth.
So in true Feminine form, flowing away like an airy breeze or cool spring water, takes the inherent value and power of the feminine -the true source of life and of power- and devotes it elsewhere. This is absolutely terrifying for a man. A man who, relies solely on his Doing for a sense of value or presence. He must be in relation to Woman in some way to avoid the black terror of irrelevancy. And so, his terror becomes the motivating force to use his physical strength not for the protection and provision for the Woman, but as a tool to control and subjugate her. He is Doing in service to fear instead of devotion. This is the seed that the patriarchy grew from; Men who fear their own irrelevance in the world.
The patriarchal character of our social world is driven directly by men’s terror of irrelevancy. This black terror in men is all that is required to fester a declining, degenerate society of people lacking in self-worth, and acting out of subjugation to fear instead of rising to the freedom of choice to devotion and serving through leadership. Because Women are Being; it is the Man who Does. His choice to choose either loving devotional service to the Woman, or something else which does not put him in the right relationship to the Creative power of this reality and therefor into the place of black terror. As most men are not even aware that this exact choice decides their personal and collective fates, we mostly live in a reactive, fear-based, top-down, violent, patriarchal society. Without awareness that their choice is the genesis of their dis-ease of patriarchal hierarchies, Men participate mostly in ignorance, and women do, too.
This is a terrible inversion. The Woman as the source of Creative power, should be provided for and protected by Man. He should cherish her and be completely devoted to her. She, in turn receives his provision and leadership. Neither is subject to the other; but both receiving divine status in the other’s perception.
One is most keenly aware of a demand for value in dating markets! Even the phrase ‘dating market’ implies the exchange of value for value. And, while there is nothing wrong with voluntary equal exchanges of value, there is and has been a systematic and ubiquitous de-valuation of the intrinsic (inherent) value, and an unwarranted inflation of the earned value. This is a clue that forces beyond any sex/gender wars have been working to change the perception of the human race to be prejudicial against inherent value.
Here I will state that it is not Men’s Doing that creates a coercive, violent, oppressive patriarchy. Staging Men as the culprit or the enemy is not the answer, and it’s not even the truth. What is true, is that much Higher Spiritual Beings have shielded human beings from their own awareness of their right to choose- but have not prevented it entirely. It is entirely possible for men to strive to attain their own freedom to choose, thereby freeing themselves, and ennobling the Masculine archetype from the depths of the patriarchy.
“Only superficially, Isidoro Baltazar claimed, are we willing to accept that what we call reality is a culturally determined construct. And what we need is to accept at the deepest level possible that culture is the product of a long, cooperative, highly selective, highly developed, and, last but not least, highly coercive process that culminates in an agreement that shields us from other possibilities.” -Being-In-Dreaming by Florinda Donner
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