I’ve been up for quite a while. Long before my alarm. I think I’m still feeling the euphoria from yesterday. I seriously feel a brand new lease on life. It’s the best feeling in the world to not be scared of what ‘might’ happen or feeling like I’m forced to comply with someone’s orders. I still think about him in the courtroom and the full blown anger I saw. This isn’t about his daughter at all. This was about winning.
I think he’s just so pissed that he lost and he felt it. To a narc, losing is the worst thing to ever happen. They feel that they should get every damn thing they want even when they don’t deserve it. I’m sure there was that element of embarrassment for him too.
It probably worked out that my boyfriend wasn’t able to be there with me. I wanted him to so badly because I am so fucking sick of facing this guy by myself but I understand that it was for the greater good. My boyfriend is a very vocal guy and there’s a good chance that he could have either made it worse or said something to him so the next time he had her, I’d have even more anxiety of him keeping her from me again.
My boyfriend is a very reactive, high-strung guy. I like that he doesn’t just put up with anyone’s shit but I do wish that he could let stuff go more too. I know that my BD is the worlds best instigator but the more you choose to stay silent, the more powerless a narc is. I love that I’ve been so silent because the more you say and the more you react, the more they have to fuel their fire. They THRIVE off of you getting upset and acting a fool. Don’t give in and give them what they want.
I just think it’s funny that he truly thought he did something. He thought he had the upper hand by petitioning for parenting time. He seriously thought that by being overall absent with no stability and thought the court was just going to hand him a child to put up with him 50% of the time?!
He has never faced any consequences for how he’s treated me but yesterday, I definitely walked out of that courtroom feeling like I advocated for my daughter. I felt that. He messaged me after making it sound like now I plan to keep her from him and that’s definitely not it. I am definitely concerned that without a court order he’s going to try and keep her again though. It’s concerning because what if the cops didn’t help me again? I wouldn’t put it past him whatsoever. He’s a very vindictive person and something needs to be worked out so that I feel comfortable letting her go with him.
He’s made this situation so miserable that I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here and away from him. I know that misery loves company but that’s not going to be my life anymore. I have 10 more years of his crap and he’s gonna have to figure out how to threaten, bully, and call me names long distance.
Anyways, the ole man is making me an omelet and then I gotta get going. I’ll try and write later today. Thank you to everyone on here that stands for me and your support is truly amazing.
Loading comments...