Before even launching in, a bit of humor that reflects where I am:
Presently, on my home PC, I have Entry 158 sitting there. It sits there due to my intention to reply to each note I receive in an effort to continue the sense of community I once found in this space. To reiterate that I value the opinions and suggestions shared. To reconnect with the amazing people this site has introduced me to. And yet… a simple mathematic equation can reveal how far behind I have gotten in that endeavor. I am writing Entry 170 and still need to respond to notes from as far back as Entry 158.
Yesterday’s rehearsal was our first Dress Rehearsal. (I had written a paragraph, then deleted it, hoping for better prose in a chronological retelling). Yesterday’s rehearsal was our first Dress Rehearsal. As I approached the garment bag, I reflected on what I had been handed during fitting. Slacks, shirts, and suit coats. So upon opening the garment bag, I was not surprised to find khaki pants, a lavender polo shirt, and a suit coat. Though only one, which was odd as we had discussed giving me at least an additional suitcoat to signify the Wedding scene. The pants were almost humorous in that they were stretch pants Khakis. So, no belt and no belt loops to make sure the waist fit. However, I carry a sword and we haven’t proper scabbards so… I grabbed an old Climbing Belt as I felt the “sportsman makeshift belt” worked for the aesthetic of “fancy man with sword”. I had been cleared to bring my own shoes (a bright thought as destroying 8 pairs in Merry Wives still rather haunts me) but I was to wear proper loafers/dress shoes. As I am Simple Misdemeanors, I wear tennis shoes to work and save my Good Shoes for the rare Jury Trial. So, I sat to lace these rather stiff shoes when I noticed that the pants had a rather long zipper. That didn’t shut. WELL that would certainly shift the tone of the show if my only pants were so… illuminating. So, I traded them out for some khaki pants of my own; and left for rehearsal.
Rehearsal was… one of our first truly hot days in the outdoor space. Add the costumes, and it is hotter for everyone. But in truth, that was GOOD news! We haven’t had many hot rehearsals and the application of extreme heat impacts the show significantly! Besides the sheer amount of sweating, the increased sun exposure can sap the energy from a performer and absolutely do some fucked up shit to the brain itself! SO… it was needed, despite the discomfort. Of course, as people began to show up to the outdoor theater space, they would look at me… scrunch their face slightly, then ask, “This is the Dress Rehearsal, right?” Yes. Yes it is. It does not go unnoticed that slacks, a shirt, and a suit coat is how I normally look at rehearsal coming directly from work. But what I am wearing is, in fact, my costume. The rehearsal itself went.... as needed. I’ll say it that way. In the two eldest of the cast (of which I am one) the effects of the heat were clearly seen. Line flubs on lines we’ve never flubbed. Hesitation in delivery in moments we’ve nailed for weeks. An excellent reminder to take precautions from the heat but also an excellent reminder why we only ever have one Afternoon Show as we are typically Evening Performers! That said, for better or worse, it confirmed the wisdom in my decision to “sandbag” the weekend. Simply the 4 hours in the sun of the rehearsal was enough to wipe me out. So much so that when I returned home, I scooped Nala into the car and we rode off to Freddy’s Custard and Steakburgers. Large Ice Cream treat with my dinner and a Pup Cup for her! As well as lots and lots of water!
Unfortunately, even though my energies were sapped, Nala’s were not. Over the evening, I played with her as I could and set up some things to help get her energy out and her mind working. But, as I knew, it wasn’t enough when we’re in the summer months and I have a dog who loves the sun. So, I was not terribly surprised when she stirred me at 1:30 a.m. to go outside. I did have to almost drag her back in but I’ll not leave my dog outside while I sleep if I have any inclination I may sleep for hours. This decision, of course, would seek to undo me as Nala woke me again at 4:30. I had to pee, so I let her out, hit the head, then returned to the deck door to call her back in. She hadn’t even left the Deck at that point; she simply wanted to spend more time outdoors. Of course she did, at our original house, the whole place was specifically set up to let her enjoy the outdoors! The three season room with her food and water but she could access outside whenever she wanted to. That was a great setup for her but in no way possible in this town. I brought her back in and resigned myself to not have an early morning of massive productive performance. I slept past the usual alarms and promised myself that I would shower between work and rehearsal this evening. I got dressed… slacks, button down, suit coat, and tie.... now taking the steps to establish a difference in appearance from WORK ME to SHOW CHARACTER. And I set off for work.
As I neared the employee parking lot, you can tell the almost Mad Max vibe the scarcity has created. People indicating they were going to the Employee Parking Lot were driving like Mad Things. Speeding into the turn, almost hitting people, actively attempting to block other cars from entering the lot… madness. Not that it is in any way confusing! We’re literally arguing for the right to park 1 or 2 blocks from work… as opposed to further away. We’re positioning for FREE parking; as all other parking opportunities cost no less than $5 a day. I allowed the madness to play out and quietly slipped into a spot in the employee parking lot that was closer to the Treatment Facility. But when I got out of the car to begin my walk? OH MY! The entire walk from my car to my office? My knees felt weak, my ankles were angry, my entire body was calling out “We… didn’t rest. Or we certainly didn’t heal! HELP!” And while I can blame a need for more water intake, and while I can blame a need for more time in a proper bath… I cannot deny that my having not gotten a new mattress yet is playing a significant part. Obviously, I haven’t the time to rectify the mattress matter until the show is complete; but I have no misunderstanding that the abused mattress plays havoc with my body pain and joint pain!
I sat in my chair and took comfort in the knowledge that not coming in over the weekend did not set me behind too terribly much! I was “caught up but for 2” by 9 a.m. and the intern is preparing trial materials for the afternoon.
Of course, the two things that remained at 9 were the things that I declared Least Simple.
The first one was returning a phone call. A mother was upset that her child had paid a speeding ticket and that said speeding ticket had license consequences. Well, your child is 16 and in the State of Iowa, they are very clear that between 16 and 18 any moving violation will have license consequences to impress upon the youth the seriousness of having a license. Your child was going 13 mph over the speed limit in a residential neighborhood and even then, due to his age and inexperience, the ticket was only written as though the child had gone 3 mph over. The officer did your son a significant favor that protected his license from being suspended at his age. The mother called asking how I can “fix this” for her because her son can’t have any license consequences. The DOT said there wouldn’t have been license consequences if the officer had just given him a warning; so the Mother has called me to demand that the ticket be changed into a warning. I.... I don’t do that. That’s not how the “warning” system works. The “warning” system exists to provide officers the ability to offer the motorist a break on the scene. Typically used in instances where the Officer is writing potentially multiple tickets; but determines that only 1 ticket is necessary while the rest can be warnings. But the warning system is for the officers. The County Attorney’s Office doesn’t have a warning system. We don’t have a “Finger Wag and Shrug” court. What you are asking, technically, is that I dismiss the ticket entirely. THAT is what you’re asking of me. I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Which shouldn’t come as a shock, but somehow so often does. People call me demanding that I fix something.... not that I’m thrilled with it, but at least in Indictable Cases, people treat me like the bad guy from the beginning. In Simples, people just.... either don’t understand what my job is or they don’t care. I am not your lawyer; I am not inclined to grant requests like a genie. I am a prosecutor. It is my job to take the investigations and citations as filed by officers; review them for factual and legal merit; and prosecute the cases where there is factual and legal merit for the charge. That is my job. Your son going almost 50 miles per hour through a neighborhood in his Jeep Wrangler doesn’t break my spirit with concern for his poor impossible plight. BUT, as is so often the case, I’m not even the person you should be speaking with. If you can’t find an attorney to represent your interests, you need to speak with the judge. You’ve already paid this ticket. The case is resolved. There is nothing I can do, even if I were so moved, as the case is closed.
The second? WELL… the second was to respond to crazy batshit absolutely out of his mind SOVCIT from Friday.... but while I was on the phone with Number One, batshit asshole sent MORE e-mails! Like… I really really want to impress upon this fuckhead that HIS fantasy conspiracy theory does NOT supersede the law or procedure. If he wants to THREATEN me or DEMAND anything from my office, he is required to file WITH THE COURTS. That is why the Courts exist. Just because he believes the Courts are fictional doesn’t mean he gets to ignore them. He does not get to ignore the Courts, Court Rulings, and he does not get to pretend that the fantasy bullshit of his own addle-brained conspiracy is controlling on any Official Proceeding. I dearly wish, honestly, that simply being such a passionate harassing SOVCIT was grounds for committal. Because he is actively living in a reality OUTSIDE of reality and is a danger to himself and others in that way… but not in such a way that he is actively threatening the life of anyone so our already piss-poor mental health system says, “Yeah, he’s crazy. And he’s dangerous. But he’s more.... public can deal with it crazy.” I kid you not, these SovCits are going to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I GET IT! I AM FIGHTING AGAINST THE ILLEGAL SHIT THE GOVERNMENT IS DOING, TOO. But “government doing illegal shit” and “I do not recognize the authority of law” are very different responses!!!!! And dealing with so many people who are so fucking crazy DOES things to a person. Because unlike every other citizen that deals with these assholes; I’m not permitted to just walk away. The best way I have to respond is to master my emotions; speak as detached and professionally as possible; and encourage him to behave in a manner that conforms with Court expectations and requirements. Which is also why SovCits tax me so. Because I have to stifle every “ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?!” that bubbles up inside me in an effort to provide the person with dignity and respect that they MORE THAN have not earned. In other words, it is repeated and recurring character work screaming, “How I treat someone is a reflection of my character; not theirs.”
WHICH I dare say… plays with that damned broken mental button in my head.
You see… I have now had three people in the local Democrat Party suggest I should run for office. I have had several people at the Dog Park suggest I should run for office. The idea of passionate advocacy seems more at home in Political Office than in the Courtroom these days. But I can’t help but think, “I can’t convince people to date me, how am I going to convince people to vote for me?” But then I think of things like the above. I can demonstrate character, competence, passion, advocacy, intelligence, and charm. More and more I cannot find anyone that I would want to make my partner and the Dating Apps? Well, I’ve found a few women that seem interesting or fascinating or truly people I would like to know… but the Dating App Format counterintuitively seems a poor path for it.... as even well considered queries inspire nothing but silence. But… yeah. Sorry. Showing my character and professionalism turned my brain onto that “I show my strength of character, my patience, my maturity, my intelligence, my compassion, my empathy all the time! And I truly feel like my reward for doing so is merely more opportunity to do so… more interactions with crazy and dangerous… less opportunity for safety and security.
But all the same? That’s what a lot of people are feeling in this country these days. Safety and Security are perilous. People who have done as they were told are being punished for doing as they were told. The “work hard for a good life; work harder for a better one” is ringing more and more hollow. The country, the world at large… needs something to slap it out of its present downward spiral.
So, I have some creative moments in the show. I mean, more so than choices to make about intention, subtext, and acting. There are three points in the show where I do something unwritten.
(1) Preshow… Claudio and I are supposed to do something to show friendship and masculinity… we’ve been play fighting with swords. I don’t know if/how to do more/better.
(2) In order to be “in the right mind” for the Masquerade Scene, Beatrice has asked me to insult her before she takes the stage. I have taken insults, translated them into a more Shakespearean tongue, and do a new one each night. Yesterday was “You are a thief of oxygen; for surely your brain uses none.” Tonight it will be “You are as bad weather; the day improves so much when you depart.”
(3) There is a bit where Benedick is struggling to write a song. I have used various melodies for this bit. Perhaps my favorite still is Auld Lang Syne; but last night I attempted HOT TO GO. I rarely know what song I’ll use until I’m doing it. This is rather like “what accent will i use?” in the masquerade scene but I never keep the accent long enough for that to feel important. Merely “No, you shall pardon me” “What’s he?” and “Not I believe me” so… not enough for a strong or legitimate go of it on the accent front!
Back to work stuff; I do have to admit that the “Preparation” stage of things now takes so long so so long. Because we have to teach, but we also have to allow for learning. Like… “We need to subpoena this case today. How would you go about seeing who to subpoena?” I would review the reports and the citations. “Excellent! Now, there are 5 reports, two citations, and 5 officers, 3 witnesses, and 1 victim listed. Do we want/need to subpoena all of them?” Well… maybe? “THAT is correct. So how do we determine who to subpoena or not?” And the intern… goes to watch all of the body cameras to see who needs to be subpoenaed. Okay, and I know as a law student you want to be thorough and correct. But we don’t have the time to watch 60 separate videos. You’re… gonna watch as many of them as you can fit into the day. OKay. Totally your method… use the time as you feel you need to. But… we need to have these cases subpoenaed today. And we have more work to do than just this today. So… but.... well, shit. Okay. We have no more time for today. We’ll need to reconvene tomorrow and do even a little bit more so we can stay both on top of things and ahead of things!
Rehearsal was good. Exhausting. My feet are killing me… I can’t even begin to comprehend how much worse it would be if I had actually done everything I wanted to this weekend! But… tomorrow is our last rehearsal… then 5 shows and… then it’s over. Then fishing with my father (in which I hope to do a great deal of reading) and then… two weeks before the next audition!
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