They need to just die. Just off themselves. They contribute nothing to society. These are actual things my roommate says in conversations. She is a very toxic person. She doesn’t see how that language is violent, dehumanizing, and emotionally corrosive for others.
This says a lot about her internal state. She is a 40-year-old teenager with no self-awareness. Now I am just realizing that she has low empathy as well. She is narcissistic, but I wouldn’t say she is a narcissist. She just oversimplifies complex things into black and white so she can feel safe or right.
Being hypercritical about everyone and everything is her personality trait. (Virgo moon). For people with depth, we know this is her mirroring what she feels inside about herself. She also doesn’t know how to connect through empathy or mutual support as she has the temperament of a teenager. When she doesn’t understand something, it means that it is stupid and not her. Then she has to lash out at it. Thus, we get a 40 year old teenager. She is actually a 40 year old adult who doesn’t understand anything.
We tried a new restaurant yesterday. I realized something. She is making mer her surrogate boyfriend. I had a toxic friend, Hope, who did this to me. Hope was even more toxic. An actual narcissist. The moment I say something that my roommate feels is dumb, she tries to berate me in public. I suddenly understand domestic violence. Even if I wasn’t gay, I wouldn’t date women. I don’t have the patience for it. I watch men water themselves down to meet expectations that are not rooted in reality. Who is he without her is like night and day. It looks so suffocating. We make fun of men who live alone and just have a chair, a gaming console, and a mattress on the floor. That reflects our economy right now, sure, but it just shows how simple men are vs what they are expected to provide their counterpart. Whatever, I don’t have to play that game.
Funny enough, my roommate lives out of storage totes. Her apartment had a bed, and a table with a chair. No TV, no internet. Her window faced a brick wall. She lived out of storage totes. Here is no different. She brought nothing. Just her storage totes. She bought a tiny bed and then after four years, I talked her into getting herself a dresser.
So my roommate is a self-centred child that no self-respecting man would put up with. I’m not a self-respecting man, then.
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