parody of The Pina Colada Song in song parodies

I took a look in the want ads, been unemployed for too long
people needed to do things involving multiple dongs
I didn’t know what the ad meant, I guess I’m boring in bed
I went onto Yahoo Answers, this was the re-sponse, it read…

if you like penis colliders, then you’re probably gay
at least the kind of lady who likes to see dudes that way
if you like watching two dudes swordfight, that’s all right, that’s okay
but I will not do that for you without a great deal of pay

I only do things with ladies but some are hard up for cash
some will do anything for rent but they’ll end up with a rash
some people like wearing diapers, some people like fur handcuffs
so I suppose it’s a big world, there’s people into that stuff

some folks like penis colliders and they’re probably gay
or maybe the kinds of ladies who like to see dudes that way
so they like watching two dudes swordfight, that’s all right, that’s okay
but I will not do that for them without a great deal of pay

so I hired a detective to find out who placed that ad
and when she brought me the results it turned out really sad
it was my old high school gym coast and I said “ew ew ew ewwwwwwwww”
but upon further reflection, I guess that we always knew

that he liked penis colliders and was probably gay
he wanted to be a lady and liked to see dudes that way
he likes watching two dudes swordfight, that’s all right, that’s okay
but I will not do that for him without a great deal of pay