barrage in motion 7 in idea barrages

1.) Look, I am a weirdo who’s been shattered & put back together w/ glue 3 or 4 times now & I am also awesome, okay? Both will always be true.

2.) It’s a sequel to THE MUPPETS TAKE MANHATTAN about their spoiled children in THE MUPPETS GENTRIFY BROOKLYN.

3.) It’ll be a remake of DUSK TIL DAWN. Except the bar has male Klingon strippers. It’s called DUSK TIL DORN.

4.) There will come a day when the hashtag #sciencetits trends for legitimate reason. Twitter will molt its cocoon into a beautiful butterfly.

5.) A night in the county jail with George Harrison was totally shankar be shanked.

6.) You know A-Rod’s steroids were all taken as horsepills.

7.) I’ll admit it, I’m old hat. However remember if you’re old hat for long enough you end up sitting on a hipster’s face.

8.) The very idea of remembering the names of the side characters in action games feels weird to me.

9.) The thing I miss most about being single isn’t anything sex related but, like, sharing adventures. Showin’ a lady my world, seein’ hers.

10.) My million dollar idea is having the only medical marijuana dispensary on Catalina Island. Money hand over fist, you know it.

11.) You’re watching a teen choice awards show? Pop in a VHS of MAD MONSTER PARTY instead. You’ll thank me.

12.) The three biggest words in career counseling are vocation, vocation, vocation.

13.) Gonna go out tomorrow, see if anywhere in L.A. can do a decent Brooklyn egg cream. In honour of Lou Reed.