Family Dramaš in Life Lessons
- Aug. 24, 2023, 12:44 p.m.
- |
- Public
Ok Iām needing unbiased advice..
This is about my own family. Mostly my mom and sister.
Some backstory about my upbringing: when I was 16 I had bought an iPad and would message with a buddy from school (nothing inappropriate, just friends) my mom snooped one day and got onto me for texting with this boy.. I got grounded from the iPad I bought for a month.. since then my mom would snoop on my phone, read my messages and monitor who I talked to.
I am now married and live with my husband close by to my parents - yet they are too busy hovering and trying to control us to take care of their kids at home..
My 17 year old sister is a bullheaded, know it all that does what she wants and never faces consequences. My parents hardly see her and donāt ever know where she is or what sheās doing (she has more freedom at 17 then I do at 24 living on my ownš)
I wasnāt allowed to get Snapchat until I turned 18. When I turned 19 I met my boyfriend and would Snapchat him, later on we found out that after I would go to bed my mom would sneak into my room and open my Snapchats from him..
Some backstory on this situation: we just returned from a week long family vacation with my family and we shared a room with my 17 year old sister. On day 5 her and my husband got into it because she was being rude and ugly about us ābargingā into āherā room.. it was a one bedroom hotel room..
Now back to the present: my mom came to me and told me that itās my responsibility to fix things with my sister (since being home she has been snotty to me and not talking to me) she gave me the sob story about how her and her younger sister fought and she had to always resolve things.. and how my grandma and great aunt had problems later in life because it never got resolved. I told her that my sister is bullheaded and hard to get along with her attitude and my mom agreed and said she knows sheās a pain to deal with (tho she donāt try to parent her and correct her attitude?) my mom is worried about our family Christmas vacation and says it will be so awkward unless I fix it..
I told her I didnāt do anything to deserve her snotty attitude. My mom said I need to just pretend nothing happened and go back to normal (she basically wants me to just pretend Iām ok with her attitude so my sister wonāt have to face any consequences..)
I told my mom Iām worried about her because sheās talking to 50+ guys on Snapchat at all hours of the night.. my mom said sheās not concerned or investigating because sheās never gave her a reason not to trust her.. (but I did? Iām more trustable..)
The only reason she thought I was untrustworthy is because she snooped.. and found something she didnāt approve of.. but she says she would never invade my sisterās privacy like thatā¦
When I lived at home I spent a lot of time with my parents in the living room.. my sister locks herself upstairs and never sees my parents and never lets anyone upstairs including my parents.. (itās their house tho?) my parents never know where sheās at or what she does.. yet sheās more trustworthy?
So is it my responsibility to āfixā things with me and my sister?
Do me and my husband keep telling my parents indirectly to parent their daughter at home and get off our back?
Do I argue about how they treated and continue to treat me as tho Iām untrustworthy (it made me mad that she basically said Iām untrustworthy yet my immature sister is trustable..) ?
Any advice is appreciated.. Iām drowning in this mess..
There is so much more that has happened recently but I was trying to keep it shortishš
Jodie ⋅ August 24, 2023
I would just tell your sister that until she starts to change her behaviour you want nothing to do with her. She is your sibling not your daughter..it's your parents job to disipine her and tell her to treat everyone with respect.
CountryGirl Jodie ⋅ August 24, 2023
I donāt even know if I need to tell her thatš¤·āāļø sheās obviously not concerned whether or not Iām talking to her.. itās my mom thatās worried..
thatās what I think, now Iām upset that my mom told me she donāt think Iām trustworthy but my sister is.. anyone that knows us would vouch Iām much more trustworthy..
Jodie CountryGirl ⋅ August 24, 2023
then you say nothing and leave it at that...and as for the holidays I would say I have other plans even if you don't.