It's the Gaslighting For Me in These Foolish Things

  • June 1, 2023, 3:32 a.m.
  • |
  • Public

I mean…

Crafting some bullets because I have no brainpower left after these days lately.


  • Went on a 2nd date with Parker last weekend. He's actually a pretty lovely dude. In fact, he's hot as hell and has a ton of plans up his sleeve. Truly a catch. Unfortunately, I am in a dismal place right now and could only express pretty dismal thoughts at the time. So after we parted ways, he sent me a text saying we're not in the same place. I agreed. I mean, how could I *not* agree? So, bye-bye.
  • I have been drinking.
  • Last Thursday I needed a drink after work, so I planted myself down close to the end of a bar where there were some nice dudes and I was in the mood to talk after a couple glasses of wine. I told them how much I'm stressed about my job and how desperate I am to move on and asked if they knew of any places where I might have an opportunity. Turns out that one of the dudes was actually a venture capitalist and knows people. As in *knows people*. As in, KNOWS MY BOSS.
  • So then I sent myself into a tailspin thinking that word was going to get back.
  • Turns out, he's a cool dude and now we're friends! Though he has a girlfriend on the West Coast, he is super friendly and invited me to hang with him and his buddies all Memorial Day Weekend long! All above board, and hopefully, this will lead to more introductions to newness - be it work opportunities or just interesting friends!
  • Still, I kinda need to keep my mouth shut until I'm sure I'm in the clear with people, ya know? That's some risky shit!
  • I have been in such a state during these last few weeks that it has damn near ruined all of my downtime. When I'm not in the office in a state of panic, I'm outside the office worrying about being in the office. Something's got to give.
  • Today was a weird day, not so much different than the rest of my workdays of late, but today there were so many attempts at gaslighting that I started tallying the number. So many times I was told something that was the complete opposite of what I was told a day or two ago.
  • I've just decided to keep tallying the number and just keep doing what I'm told until I'm out. I can look back and count the numbers, or even better... never, ever, EVER look back.
    GS

  • Last updated June 01, 2023


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