RAD: Parker in These Foolish Things

Name: Parker

Introduction Platform: Bumble. I opened Bumble while I was solo on Saturday night, drowning my sorrows at a wine bar. Handsome dude had made a comment on a photo of me wearing a sexy dress that I don’t know if I could get my big toe in these days. False advertising on my part? Maybe a bit. But he lied about his age, so…

Age: 59. His profile said 54. No biggie to me anymore I guess. Nobody shares their real age on these sites and at this point, do I even care?

Relationship Status: Divorced a year. Did some weird dating stuff for a while - like, he was on a dating site for above-board multiple partner type stuff. As in, polyamory (I guess??), but he decided that he doesn’t want that lifestyle after some drama. Says he wants to date one person at a time now

Job: Semi-retired. Runs a non-profit that supports artists living with Parkinson’s Disease

Lives: Cool neighborhood close to downtown. I’m eyeing that neighborhood for my next move. If I get to make a move in this town.

Length of Date: an hour and a half

We Did: We were going to meet for coffee and brekkie tacos at a taco truck in the cool part of town close to where he lives. Unfortunately, with taco trucks being the way that they are, the hours are sometimes sketchy. At 10am on a Sunday morning, they were closed…I guess because it was spitting rain. He had a Plan B that was actually a WINNER. I followed him to this fantastic little breakfast place with the most gorgeous rooftop bar in the world! I don’t know why he didn’t pick this place to begin with - other than the fact that he might not have wanted to spoil me. Haah! So, we had a quick-ish brunch (I had an omelet and a mimosa and he had vegan tacos and coffee).

He Looked: Outrageously handsome. Like, too good to be true. Chiseled jaw with neatly trimmed salt and pepper beard, full head of hair, excellent teeth. White linen button up shirt, barely faded denim jeans, scuffed boots.

I Looked: I felt like I looked fat because I’m about 15 lbs heavier than what appears in my profile. But I wore a pretty sundress under a denim jacket. Sandals. Brought Martini because we were going to be outdoors

Convo: Decent convo, but the guy is one of those people on hyper speed when he talks and that bugs me because it’s so much like my hyper-insane boss. Still, we talked about [this city], relationships, travel, bucket-list type stuff, and his Parkinson’s diagnosis (hence his special interest in artists living with Parkinsons)

High Point: Nice breakfast with a nice looking dude

Low Point: No sparks, but I’ll still see him again

How It Ended: I don’t know if he was watching the time for me or if he was just ready to go, but the timing was perfect for me to book it out of there and on to my nail appointment on time. He paid the bill and we walked out to our cars parked next to each other. He told me he wanted to see me again and I said sure, not really feeling anything much, other than it would be nice to go somewhere with someone again

Chances Are: 100% - he asked me to go to a pop-up vintage market with him on Saturday, and that’s totally my jam!

Date Rating: B

Post-Script Question: Is it bad that I’m mostly excited about just going someplace with another human being? I have zero interest in making out with the guy, and I can tell he wants to be frisky with me. Am I leading him on?? Take a couple of texts for example… last night he wanted to text for a while and ask me questions about myself and I mostly ignored them. Tonight he texted me to ask if I wanted to see “a spicy, but not indecent, selfie?” No. No sir, I do not. I didn’t tell him that, but the answer is NO. And yet, YES, I want to go to a vintage-pop up with you. So. Hm.