Mothers day and B turns 19 in Bittersweet
- May 15, 2023, 9:09 p.m.
- |
- Public
Yesterday was Mothers day and B turned 19.
When I was pregnant with him. Mothers day was a few days before. I went to the zoo and was trying to “walk the baby out” The tiger was super interested in me. Probably some pheromones going on there lol. It was following me back and forth outside of the enclosure. I even ran some that day because he was pacing back and forth with me and I thought it was funny. I was 19. This mothers day was quiet.
I got breakfast in bed for the first time ever. Rather I got chased BACK into bed lmao by T when I tried to get up. And he gave me 4 slices of bacon and a waffle. I ate half. We eventually went to lowes to get the supplies to build a bunkbed for B and Co. I bought flowers. Then to walmart and I bought pots lmao.
We had cake and I edited some photos of my saturday photoshoot. Really not much happened.
I had a few dizzy spells and had one pretty bad one. I figured out how to turn continuous monitoring for heartrates on with my watch so i can monitor my heart rate when it happens. Ive gone from 50-150 today. At rest. Im looking into POTS as a possibility now.
My boss said I could consider training my boyo as a service dog. They can detect migraines and heartrate spikes that come with POTS. He is 6, ill have to look into what it takes to train him.. I know for migraines you train them to detect the smell. Like the smell of your breathe when you have a migraine and they can smell it like 24 hrs in advance. I could teach him to detect heartrate changes. All that can really be done is sit down until it passed. My boss asks what she is supposed to do if I pass out at work. I said there isnt much. I come out of it after a few minutes. Either my BP drops or my HR spikes but once im down, it passes. And researching POTS it really is just that… Your HR spikes and you go down and it passes when your HR stablizes. The trick is to not hit something on the way down.... Like its all I can do…
I get so dizzy now.
The thing is, Im fucked.
There is nothing I can do.
Im literally screwed.
I just have to deal....
Ive been pretty depressed the last couple of days and its probably hormones or whatever. Stress. Everything I guess? Just a lot
Jinn ⋅ May 15, 2023
It’s probably “ everything” . You seem to have a lot on your plate; your job, your kids , your finances, your health, insurance, your husband etc.. You are accustomed to dealing with it all but it’s still a lot.
About your POTS ; do you think it’s secondary to your autoimmune illness? I have had this most of my life related to my IBS . For me it’s most important that I stay well hydrated. Also that I not change position quickly ; especially in the mornings. Also not move my head rapidly . I think I have always craved coke or Pepsi because the caffeine restricts the blood vessels ; which helps with the POTS . I had the migraines until I hit menopause and since then they have been rare. I have learned to manage it fairly well . I hope you find what works for you .
ChainedChrysalis Jinn ⋅ May 16, 2023
Ill adjust :)
Well i have markers and positives for 4 different autoimmune disorders. So there is that. Im not 100% sure its pots. But i put my continuous heartrate monitor on and i went from 50-164 throughout the day. Its worse for me at night. Its when ive fainted.
I hydrate well, between 50-100 oz of water a day. I do drink caffeine again. Ive been drinking sugar free dr pepper mostly and the occasional pepsi. My husband said im getting more dizzy around that time of the month but i dont feel any different either. I was helping my boss when I realized my heart rate was 140. So i sat down for 15 minutes till it came down to about 115. But it runs really high like that without much effort at all. Even in the garden talking to a hummingbird moth It was over 120. Im interested to see what it does when I have a big dizzy spell. Just waiting on one.
Jinn ChainedChrysalis ⋅ May 17, 2023
Sometimes my heart will start racing for no reason and I feel a little nauseous and breathless for a bit . Then it goes away so I do not worry about it. I have not taken my pulse when it happens because then I will be paranoid. :-)