more physical entry stuff, the Sub story in Second 1st

I woke at 1:30, there was no air in the room, and I couldn’t breathe. It’s a mental thing of course. It was too warm and neither of the fans were on. (Grammarly wants me to say was on wtf not even close to right .... not like I really care lol) I have nothing to do got a bit and I do want to get on with the diary stuff. I’d like to get to a point where I can write a few entries.... but I do want to read through to where I last wrote..... so…

10-8-01 I had been talking with Monty after the big fight with his mother. I’d been visiting Zoe and maintaining a relationship with Monty. I had been making plans to move to MI. Moving in with my Aunt Cheryl till I got a job and a place. I called Jake to explain how things were going and he understood. I’d called my Aunt the 10th

10-23-01 Promises made about visits to MI over the last few weeks I’d changed my mind about the move several times. Monty was the biggest influence kept having me believe it would work out. I’d messaged Jake and Destiny about not talking for a month as to not sway my decisions about Monty. I didn’t want to be done with him because I wanted to move to MI. I wanted to be done with him because we would not work.... his mother would make sure of it and I could not see giving Zoe such a broken home to grow up in.

2-4-02 is the next entry. I talk about how I would visit Monty and Zoe every chance I could but in the end we weren’t “together” and it just made the breakup more painful. I started working at the WalMart Photo center and had visited my twin friends Jess and John from High School. Though it’s not mentioned I know I did this only once. I had gone to visit them and at some point they left me on the computer to do something in the other room. They had been gone awhile so I went to check on them to find them snorting cocaine I cried on the way home and I didn’t go see them again.

2-19-02 is an entry about my first slight and trip to MI to visit Jake and Destiny. We had planned 4 days with Destiny and 3 with Jake. Apparently, she had a jealousy issue with Jake even back in 2002. I had written it off then as a prego hormone lol but the more it went on over the week I was up there the more I came to realize it would “probably be this way my whole life” lol wow I was right lol. Over that week I met a bunch of new people we had a big party where nearly all those people had shown up at some point.... and most I barely remember.... Stephen, Lindsey, Carl, Dave, Aaron, Tim, Jessica, Jake, Dest and myself. Apparently at some point while drunk Lindsey, Jake and I played Drunk Twister. Then a bunch of us played a drinking game with dice called 3 Man.... I’d put the rules in there! lol.... There was an appointment near the end of my visit. Destiny had gone with Krista to and we were all supposed to meet up for lunch but her doctor sent her to the hospital .... dilated to 4.5 .... Chris was born before I left!!!! which honestly I think is pretty special. I got to hold him and all.

Before the baby came is one of my favorite friend stories I have of Me and Destiny. She hadn’t eaten and you know they don’t let you eat because the doctor doesn’t want to get shit on.... a bit selfish but also understandable and no one wants to risk shit on the baby. She was starving though and convinced me to go get a 6 inch sub at Subway. We called as they were closing and Jake drove me down there. I asked the lady if they could stay open just a couple of extra mins so I could get my pregnant friend something to eat as she was literally in the hospital having a baby. She agreed and we showed up right at closing. When I walked in one girl said “Told you she’d pregnant.” I corrected her “no mam it’s not me, the woman having the baby is at the hospital having the baby, I’m just fat.” Rang up the sub before it was made so they could count the register. Had them cut it in half so Destiny could eat 3 inches at a time.... she swore she just wanted 3 inches. SO.... we get back to the hospital and I unwrap it at a table in her room. I give Dest 3 inches and she starts eating it. “Keep an eye out for the nurse.” I did and Destiny had to cram a good inch in her mouth as the nurse came in. The nurse looked at me and said “You know she’s not allowed to eat. It’s not very nice of you to eat in front of her.” LOL I took a bite and said I haven’t eaten all day it wasn’t nice of the baby to make me starve. LOL I know I came off looking like a fat bitch who needed food but Destiny felt better.... had a few more moments to chew and that’s all that mattered. She answered questions with yes and no sounds lol but the nurse never let on that she knew Destiny had eaten anything. LOL I was pregnant and fat while destiny was having a baby.

That’s enough.... time to get to “work”.... btw Tuesday and Wednesday were successful, so far so good....