aww old journals in Second 1st

Once upon a time I used journaling to help friends see the side of me I wished to present. Sometimes things I put in my journal weren’t exactly how I felt about something but what I knew they would want to know.

It struck me that I might have a journal entry or two that wasn’t on the internet.... and found the hand written diary I kept at the time.

I took a gummy and a shower and intend to read all the things I felt then. It’s going to be a rough read. I did spend some time before the gummy finding the beginning of Jake and he falls at the end of Eric.... at the very beginning of Jim.... and mentions through Monty.... but so far I have to say it’s interesting. .....

I got distracted and that was a good 4 hours ago lol I can see how he and I didn’t survive but it wasn’t him.... There was so much going on in my life.

Jake met me before my sister’s accident. Jake had told me he loved me before 9/11. The spilt came from both sides. It’s hard to be present in someone’s life 500+ miles away. Jim happened, Monty happened Jake was here and gone before I’d gotten married. By the time I was divorced, I had stopped talking to Destiny.... we were (Destiny and I) estranged for 5 years. During that time I’d finalized my divorce and moved to Colorado and back to TN and met Rocky. I had moved in with Rocky when she’d messaged me on FB. Jake was no longer attached to her. He’d gotten married and he was not allowed to talk to her and subsequently me. Even though we’d professed love we were not together and we wouldn’t be unless I moved there and at that point.... even then.... It would take a hunt because Destiny had no idea where he was.

Coming off the gummy ready to go to bed.....

Due to some scheduling issues I had this morning (thanks to a full cache) I swapped Saturday and Sunday so now.... Operation Vavavroom officially starts tomorrow. Even though whatever I make tomorrow will be for gas.... I won’t be off again till next Sunday. Wish me luck.