Tired in Journal
- Feb. 5, 2023, 5:05 p.m.
- |
- Public
Poor Lexi Bird was up half the night not feeling well. Fortunately it was just gas (I think) and has fallen back to her normal routine now.
I engaged in a very interesting conversation today about what goals people had for parenting. Everyone said something similar to “raise morally upright, bright people that fit into society without unnecessary difficulty”. Obviously I don’t agree, lol. When do I ever?
The discussion mostly was around what it meant to raise people in society. Now, I’ve never been fond of society. But never have I been less fond than after I was able to clarify the principles of society. Hatred of society intensifies, in other words. So to me, raising children in the shadow of a violent tyranny is.. worse than giving up. Neither do I think that my kids should necessarily oppose society. It should be up to them. My goal is to raise self actualized people who are fully capable of deciding to “fit in”, or not, according to their own values.
Idk if simple ideas are difficult to define. But it was basically shocked silence after I outlined how I disagreed, and put forward the above goal as I saw it.
Another interesting off shoot of ideas was related to one parent’s idea that his son felt the need to voice his ideas and opinions in oppositional environments. This parent thinks of this as virtuous action. But, I’m not really sure there is such a thing. Perhaps there is, since it takes courage. But it can also be foolhardy, which is not a virtue.
I’m not even sure that it matters.
It would matter immensely on a personal level. Since choice and integrity are necessary for virtue, and virtue it’s necessary for happiness. It would matter if action is taken out of free will or historical reactionary imprinting. The latter will never allow for choice, and so cannot be virtuous, and happiness will never be experienced. Anything is possible with self-knowledge. So a child may be arguing his beliefs heroically, but if he has no power to choose, then it’s not a virtuous action. Right? Lol
Reading_Blankie 📚 ⋅ February 06, 2023
Everyone wants their child to be the round peg that fits in the round hole. Easily liked, popular, easy to raise. Trouble is that there are many parents that don’t realize that their child is the square peg that doesn’t fit in the round hole. It’s okay to be different. You raise your child the best you can and then at a certain age you have to let them make choices for themselves
Miss Chiffs Manager Reading_Blankie 📚 ⋅ February 07, 2023
How do you know everyone wants that?
Reading_Blankie 📚 Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ February 08, 2023
I used to work in daycare and child development was my major fore a while when I was in college. Through my experience of taking care of these kids that weren’t my own, i discovered that most—- not all—- want their kid to fit in and be popular because then it’s easier on them.
That’s just my cynical opinion though.
Miss Chiffs Manager Reading_Blankie 📚 ⋅ February 10, 2023
Oh wow that is a cool job to have if you like kids.
I would wager that your sample of parents is necessarily skewed though... For example, I'd never come into contact with a school teacher or a daycare attendant unless it was just chance meeting out in the world. Lots of parents have values that prevent them from using daycare or public schools.
I can totally get how one might become cynical after having that sample of parenting to draw experiences from.
Reading_Blankie 📚 Miss Chiffs Manager ⋅ February 11, 2023
My classes and working at the daycare did give me the experience that i needed for my children. That job is really draining. There is so much drama with everyone( peers, parents, kids, bosses) that I didn’t want to do it anymore.
There are always people who will start the daycare job too, and then quit shortly after they start because they didnt realize how hard the job is. Or there are lazy workers, entitled workers, etc. for instance, if you’re in a 3 year old classroom, you can be by yourself with 13 kids. If you suddenly get 16 kids you need another teacher. That teacher might be lazy and not helpful at all.
Then you have your bosses. They’re mostly entitled, or with one or two of them you have more experience than they do.
I don’t want to put my kids in daycare FOR these reasons. I know the “inner-workings” so to speak. My view on caretakers in general is skewed because of it, too. Those corporations only care about the money.
Miss Chiffs Manager Reading_Blankie 📚 ⋅ February 11, 2023
Wow. Yeah it is heartbreaking to hear about the workers attitudes. Not saying they're all bad but I'm sure there are enough bad that almost every child is exposed to bad caretaking at some point if they're in daycare long enough.
I remember one caretaker in daycare who was genuinely kind to me. I loved her, but there were a half dozen other workers there, too. I looked forward to the days she was there, but of course as a child, no one cared to get my perspective or tell me when that was going to be, so it was just chance if I got her or not.